Build Date: Mon Jun 22 15:10:07 2026 UTC
Nothing exists until or unless it is observed. An artist is making something exist by observing it. And his hope for other people is that they will also make it exist by observing it. I call it "creative observation." Creative viewing.
-- William S. Burroughs
Kill Baby 6 Billion!
1999-10-12 20:21:46
So, by now you know that the 6 billionth person on planet Earth has been born some time today. And, you've also probably heard all the hand-wringing about the horrible things this child is going to do to the world. But no one has faced the hard facts and made the demand: We must kill Baby 6 Billion!
I've been listening to the news about this baby, and everyone seems to agree that this kid is NO DAMN GOOD. He's going to destroy the environment, eat up the world's food supply, poison the air and water, cause wars and pestilences, spread disease, and pretty much FUCK EVERYTHING UP for the rest of us.
It's time the world's governments and law-enforcement officials faced the facts. We have to put a hit out on Baby Six Billion. Face it, folks: this kid is NO GOOD. We can't afford to have soft-hearted bureaucrats let this little delinquent get away with all his horrible crimes just because he's a BABY! The time to act is NOW.
Now, I've thought about this long and hard, and I know it sounds like a really horrible thing to do. But it's one of those utilitarian GREATEST GOOD for the GREATEST NUMBER type philosophical question things. Yeah, it's sad when a baby gets a sniper bullet in its tiny heart. Everyone has a sob story about that. But compared to all the bad shit this tiny demon is going to do, isn't it worth it?
THINK about it, folks. And write your congressperson or state legislative representative. This kid's only about 14 hours old right now, so he's probably still weak. If we act AS A GROUP, the other 5,999,999,999 of us can probably take him out now. But we don't have long, and we ESPECIALLY don't have time for a lot of shilly-shallying and hand-wringing.
So, I implore the nations of the world to CALL IN the surgical airstrikes on Baby 6 Billion. I know they're having a hard time tracing him down, but EVERY SECOND COUNTS. Please! Do what you can NOW!
T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
