Build Date: Sun Oct 4 19:40:51 2026 UTC
Goddamn swamp dwelling, WebTV-using, OS/2 licking, dogshit gobbling hillbilly motherfucker!!
-- Ratsnatcher
Pigdog Disco Jackets of the Future!!
1999-07-12 05:22:58
Spock Mountain Research Labs' crack team of hillbilly scientists was given a very special assignment to "test-drive" a crazy new technology that only we could handle. Each volunteer was issued a lab coat OF THE FUTURE and sent out to party like it was 1999!
Xerox PARC thinks they are so fancy shmancy with their fancy new Digital Paper, but can you wear it?? Does it glow in the dark? Is it good for late night rock till you drop dance parties??! Of course not.
But, thanks to the good people at Cambridge Display Technology this will ALL BE POSSIBLE!! They have developed the Plastic of the Future for the Bad People of the Future!!! Fabulous!!
Soon they will be able to make all kinds of cool shit, cheap. Video phones, roll-up computer screens, blah, blah, and most importantly, CLOTHES. My favorite clothing idea is the special camouflage wear. You could put your special "I don't want to deal with people" jumpsuit on, hook up your battery pack and sit back while your suit generates an image of your surroundings perfectly blending you into the background.
Okay, maybe that wont work, but just think of the fashion choices!
And, just in case you thought it couldn't get any crazier, the inventors were able to start their company with the backing of the rock band GENESIS!
The best part of all this is that Hillbilly Scientists were sent out for all-night RAVE CRAZINESS!! (As you can see in the groovy picture!!!)
T O P S T O R I E S
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