Last night I was at Denny's in Emeryville, and security guards wearing big uniforms, leather gloves, batons, and sidearms (45's maybe) seated us!! They weren't just standing around like normal security guards, they were the hosts.
Everyone who participated was in agreement. The cops, the
promoters, the audience, and even the people arrested.
Everyone, that is, with the exception of Nicole Weisensee or
the Philadelphia Daily News. But hey, why should she let
the truth get in the way of some creative writing?
Here's what happened: Last weekend, a promoter decided to throw a big satanic
warehouse party. The party attracted a lot of low-brows, who in turn
acted with slightly less intelligence than monkeys pelting one another with
their own feces. Enter onto the scene the cops. A melee involving various
explosives, a lead singer screaming "Kill Them", and pipe bombs ensued.
A few minutes later, everything quieted down. Arrests were made,and implements
of destruction confiscated. At this point, Nicole Weisensee stumbled onto the
scene like a drunken wino that was just given a dose of Angel Dust.
Sensing a story that would play on the unfounded fears of her readers, Ms.
Weisensee wrote up her story in a twisted, sensationalistic manner that would
make even the Weekly World News blush. You see this wasn't just a satanic
Halloween party for Cro-Magnon's, in her mind this was a RAVE. You read right, A
RAVE. Now despite the fact that no rave on THE PLANET would have pipe-bombs,
semi-automatics, or a live BAND who encourage the frenzied audience to rip the
cops to shreds, that didn't get in the way of Nicole. She wants people to
believe that these events are filled with sex-crazed people from Mississippi who
want to feed kids drugs, have their way with them sexually, kill them, and eat
We would like to suggest that Ms. Weisensee immediately resign her position,
and freelance her talents of fear-mongering to either The National Enquirer or
write scripts for professional wrestling, where she will be far more