Build Date: Wed Oct 7 11:51:29 2026 UTC
Cuomo has gone down, just like he wanted his interns to.
-- The Compulsive Splicer
Vaccine-hesitant but pro-livestock meds
2021-08-24 00:49:55
In a surprise move Sunday the FDA announced that human beings are not cows or horses.
The FDA needed to make this announcement because stupid Americans were ingesting Ivermectin de-worming medicine meant for cows and horses.
Americans were ingesting de-worming medicine for livestock because Fox News anchors Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham (not medical doctors) told their viewers that it could help treat COVID-19. These same viewers are terrified of getting a vaccine that's been successfully used by 190 million other Americans, but are willing to ingest de-worming medicine meant for cows and horses because Tucker Carlson told them it was a good idea.
Turns out the FDA was correct, and people are not actually cows or horses. In fact, veterinary experts warn that ingesting Ivermectin for livestock could give you a rash, cause nausea, vomiting, and abdominal pain, give you additional neurological disorders beyond the one that caused you to take animal meds in the first place, and can potentially cause severe hepatitis requiring hospitalization or leave you paralyzed.
In Mississippi the state's Poison Control Center is reporting an alarming increase in people poisoning themselves with Ivermectin. At least 70% of their calls are coming in from idiots who watch Fox News and have now poisoned themselves.
In Alabama the state's poison control hotline is now handling three times the number of calls for Ivermectin poisoning as they were last year, and it's limited to handling calls from people in Alabama who have and know how to use telephones, so the actual number of poisoned Alabamans is probably higher.
The number of people washing down a horse-dose of Ivermectin with a glass of bleach is currently under investigation but an exact number could not be determined by the time this article was published.
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Ah, it's that special time of year again. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, crowded, dangerous streets filled with maniac shoppers rushing to the mall to buy Pokemon action figures, and getting hammered at the Xmas party and insulting the boss's hair weave. That's right: it's time to drink heavily and wait out life's little nagging miseries, holiday variety. Pigdog is here to help. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
