Build Date: Sun Sep 6 06:10:24 2026 UTC
Wikis are a piece of hippie technology, based on good intentions and sharing and happy goodness and mom and apple pie but, as in every hippie technology, the actual implementation sucks.
-- Kiko
Ladies and Gentleman, I Have A New Hero
2000-12-19 18:32:41
First off, I'd like to point out that Bob Crane was bludgeoned to death in 1978 in a motel room in Arizona. I just found out about this in the last 24 hours and it's having a really deleterious effect on my blood sugar level. Apparently there was porno involved, and blunt object trauma and all kinds of bad juju. But this is ALL OK, because I don't need Hogan anymore. I've got a NEW HERO, and his name is William Leonard Pickard Jr.
[Oh, hey, interesting factoid aside here: you know on "Hogan's Heroes" where Colonel Hogan would always get FREAKY with Colonel Klink's secretaries to get super-big military secrets? It turns out he was bangin' the secretaries for REAL! In real life! Big-breasted Helgas for Bob Crane, all over the place! That lucky dog. Too bad about the blunt object trauma.]
But back to TRUE AMERICAN HEROES: William Leonard Pickard, Jr. is this well-known drug policy expert from UCLA. He is like this big knowledgeable fellow about the Russian drug trade and all the bad things they did, and he's written papers and organized huge conferences and shit.
Well, let me change the tense here: he _was_ a policy expert, that is, until his grant ran out last fall. Then, he went on a RAMPAGE! He (allegedly) bought this crazy ABANDONED NUCULAR MISSILE SILO in KANSAS and made it into a gigantic LSD lab. He was putting out 10 million doses a month! (Allegedly) He converted the nucular silo into luxurious Mac Daddy ACID DEALER LOVE PAD, with a Jacuzzi and Italian marble!
Allegedly.
And THEN he got raided in November by the DEA, but he got away! He ran into the woods of Kansas, and evaded police for 18 hours! With like all these bloodhounds and INFRARED HELIOCOPTERS and gillions of big dumb DEA cops running after him. But then he got busted when some HAYSEED found him in a truck and turned him in. [By the way, fuck you, you fucking goody-goody KANSAS FARMER NOBODY! You don't deserve to kiss William Pickard's unwiped ass, much less turn him in. Gar!]
And THEN, he got all arraigned this month, and he got all these letters of support from crazy freaks around the globe. Like, the Zen Center of San Francisco and SF DA Terrence Hallinan wrote letters of support for him. And these wacko English Noblepersons Lord and Lady Neidpath, best known for their advocacy of trephination and such. They both have big drilled heads, and they love William Pickard! He is beloved by all!
This is just such a great story in so many ways. It's really what journalism is all about, covering the INTERNATIONAL NUCULAR SILO PLAYBOY ZEN TREPANATION DRUG DEALER PROFESSORS and their lifestyles and antics. It's a must-read for everybody. Go check it out now!
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
Place the Lighter on the Ground and Let Us See Your Hands
So I have been thinking on this whole flag burning issue and all the things it could imply. Now a lot of people right now are saying that there are more important issues at stake and something so trivial is a waste of time. Believing such is really losing sight of some very key changes happening in our nation right now. Being a strict conservative, and currently serving in Iraq, I was surprised to find that I am actually appalled that the House approved a ban on flag burning. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
The IBM Selectric Typewriter Changed My Life
I ran my hands lovingly across her frame, lightly brushing her metallic nipples with my fingers, admiring the shapes and the ways of her curves, the empathetic hum she produced as I had my way with her, the way she made it all seem so effortless and right... she didn't even seem to mind the way I roughly manipulated her knobs and tweaked her casing. She was extremely tolerant, for a typewriter. (More...)
