CONGRATULATIONS! WELCOME TO UNAMERICA!

     
 

Ed's Shirt
2004-06-26 14:21:21


Spocktail of the Week
 
Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.
-- Bullwinkle Moose

 

It was Friday night at the Casa de Baron and everything was in place -- a group of friends had assembled, people were setting things on fire in the backyard, and a Ferry Corsten double-live CD was playing on the stereo. Everything was in place to make further scientific advances in beverage research and leisure technology.

Ed was looking listlessly at the array of alocoholic choices before him. "I'd like a drink," he said, "but I don't know what to make. Could you make me something?"

I was on my fifth G&T, several people were drinking Red Tail Ale, Kevin was doing something with large amounts of vodka and lime juice but I wasn't sure just what, and I'd just given Ed's wife a Star Twin SPECTACULAR. It was time for something new.

"I could INVENT a drink for you," I said. "What kind of drink would you like? Sweet? Sour? Fizzy?"

"I like sweet drinks" said Ed.

"Something fruity? Tropical?" I asked.

"YEA haHa ahhh! Fruity!" Ed said enthusiastically, then he cackled like a mountain gorilla. I took that as an affirmative sign.

I grabbed a glass and this is what I did:

  • I filled the glass one third full of ice.
  • Added enough tangerine juice to fill the glass halfway.
  • Added a splash of Odwalla lime juice.
  • I threw in a shot of banana rum, a shot of pineapple rum, and a shot of coconut rum.
  • Topped off with a splash of Midori.

The rums and Midori made the top of the glass green, while the bottom of the glass was orange-yellow, with rivulets of green running through it. "We need a name for this," I said.

"It's DELICIOUS," cried Ed, grasping the glass as if it were full of precious jewels.

I looked at Ed and noticed he was wearing a green-yellow-orange tie-dyed shirt, which looked exactly like the drink in his hand. Ed was color-coordinated with his drink. The drink's name was obvious.

"Who else wants an Ed's Shirt?" I asked.

Everyone did.

Don't you?

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

xandria@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

T O P   S T O R I E S

The One Trump Conspiracy That Will Explain Everything
by El Destino

No, Google Isn't Using Grand Theft Auto To Train Self-Driving Cars
by El Destino

Amazon's 'Dash' Button For Doritos Panned By Potheads
by El Destino

O'Reilly Auto's Site Now Sells Parts For Time Machines
by El Destino

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

05-03

Baron Earl

When will the abuse of airline passengers stop?

05-03

El Destino

Hillbilly miner turned coder wants to make Kentucky into "Silicon Holler"

03-31

El Destino

86-year-old William Shatner cast in a new romantic comedy: 'Senior Moment'

03-19

El Destino

New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk

01-26

Flesh

Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

03-31

Baron Earl

Creating a wall-hangable computer from an Ikea shadow box frame

More Quickies...