Build Date: Wed Sep 11 09:20:07 2024 UTC
Walt Disney was profoundly EVIL.
-- Tjames Madison
Whole Lotta Shakin Goin On
2000-11-11 14:29:52
Yeah, that's a lame title, but everyone who writes a puff piece about earthquakes uses it, and as a Professional Journalist I feel obliged to submit to the tradition. (Just so you know, I will also use the word "temblor" later in this article). However, this puff piece is different -- it's not just about earthquakes as scary natural phenomenon, but earthquakes as a tool for VIOLENT SOCIAL CHANGE!
So, check it: San Francisco, right? Late Nineties Internet Gold Rush Ground Zero. What with incoming dot-com carpet-baggers from the East Coast arriving by the fuckload each day (confidential to carpet-baggers: fuck off and die. We hate you), commercial and residential rents are going through the roof. This means that folks who make San Francisco cool are being driven out of the City in record numbers -- they can't have homes, they can't have artists' studios, they can't have rehearsal space, they can't have nothing.
What's going to change that? The group I link to below, ARTISTS FOR EARTHQUAKES, has an idea: instigate a MASSIVE EARTHQUAKE in San Francisco to destroy large amounts of property. Property values plummet, all the shady businesses and creeps in rugby shirts go back to their Rust Belt homes, and we can have our City back. All due to a massive temblor. Beaujolais for that!
Anyways, check out Artists for Earthquakes. They're planning lots of cool events, like tap dancing on the Hayward Fault (trying to get it to shift, don't you know) or banging REAL LOUD DRUMS on the San Andreas. Haven't you always wanted to change history (and geography)? Now's your chance.
T O P S T O R I E S
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In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
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SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
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Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
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Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
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A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
Mr. Bad and Crackmonkey collaborate on a fine Mr. Bad's List. We put together ALL the TECHNOLOGY you ever need to know in order to STUMP your OPPONENT in a technical argument. Use these only when your back is against the wall -- they're definitely desperation tactics. (More...)
