Build Date: Tue Sep 23 06:10:10 2025 UTC
Geez, yr one to talk. Your liver is being given tortures that were last seen in Spanish dungeons during the Inquisition.
-- Flesh
Whole Lotta Shakin Goin On
2000-11-11 14:29:52
Yeah, that's a lame title, but everyone who writes a puff piece about earthquakes uses it, and as a Professional Journalist I feel obliged to submit to the tradition. (Just so you know, I will also use the word "temblor" later in this article). However, this puff piece is different -- it's not just about earthquakes as scary natural phenomenon, but earthquakes as a tool for VIOLENT SOCIAL CHANGE!
So, check it: San Francisco, right? Late Nineties Internet Gold Rush Ground Zero. What with incoming dot-com carpet-baggers from the East Coast arriving by the fuckload each day (confidential to carpet-baggers: fuck off and die. We hate you), commercial and residential rents are going through the roof. This means that folks who make San Francisco cool are being driven out of the City in record numbers -- they can't have homes, they can't have artists' studios, they can't have rehearsal space, they can't have nothing.
What's going to change that? The group I link to below, ARTISTS FOR EARTHQUAKES, has an idea: instigate a MASSIVE EARTHQUAKE in San Francisco to destroy large amounts of property. Property values plummet, all the shady businesses and creeps in rugby shirts go back to their Rust Belt homes, and we can have our City back. All due to a massive temblor. Beaujolais for that!
Anyways, check out Artists for Earthquakes. They're planning lots of cool events, like tap dancing on the Hayward Fault (trying to get it to shift, don't you know) or banging REAL LOUD DRUMS on the San Andreas. Haven't you always wanted to change history (and geography)? Now's your chance.
T O P S T O R I E S
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
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Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
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The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
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During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
