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I've been on the road doing comedy for ten years now, so bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plow through this shit one more time.
-- Bill Hicks
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A few thousand years ago in Rome, February 14th was a big
carnal love fest where boys and girls would hook up for a
year of orgys and parties at the vomitorium. Around the same
time this guy Valentine was beaten with clubs and beheaded
by Claudius II. The poor persecuted party-pooping Xtians
decided to sabotage the chick-picking party and replace it with
there own platonic holiday-- Valentine's.
But for every martryed Saint that managed to take over some naughty little
pagan romp, there are a thousand that got shut out and forgotten. I think
it's about time that we start to stop and give a thought to some of these
other, less commercial figurers:
- February 23- Why celebrate President's Day when you could be basking in the
glory of St. Peter Damian, one of the chief forerunners of the Hildebrandine
reform in the Church - Yay!
- May 15- Mother's Day is really wasted nagging old ladies, isn't it? But
St. Isidore, the Farmer's Day is always a party!
- June 19- Does anyone out of third grade even know when Flag Day is? You'll
never have to be reminded when we start celebrating St. Romuald's Day
instead!
- July 4- Forget B-B-Qs and fireworks! The Fourth of July is all about
St. Elizabeth of Portugal, of the Third Order of St. Francis, who reminds
all of us to go to Mass everyday or be burned alive in a lime-furnace!
- October 9- Columbus day really isn't all that popular anymore anyway. I
doubt anyone would complain if we replaced this un-PC excuse for a day off with
the holy trio of Saints Denis, Rusticus, and Eleutherius! Just imagine
all those cute little school kids cutting off their heads and throwing
themselves into rivers!!
Heehee! It make me smile so, just to think of their smiling pious heads!
Check it out yourself
zuul@pigdog.org
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