Build Date: Tue Jun 9 17:50:08 2026 UTC
I'd be more than happy to see the Democrats eat a big shit pie this November.
-- Mr. Bad
Dont Forget! March 13 is St.Urpasian Day!
2000-02-14 16:36:03
A few thousand years ago in Rome, February 14th was a big carnal love fest where boys and girls would hook up for a year of orgys and parties at the vomitorium. Around the same time this guy Valentine was beaten with clubs and beheaded by Claudius II. The poor persecuted party-pooping Xtians decided to sabotage the chick-picking party and replace it with there own platonic holiday-- Valentine's.
But for every martryed Saint that managed to take over some naughty little pagan romp, there are a thousand that got shut out and forgotten. I think it's about time that we start to stop and give a thought to some of these other, less commercial figurers:
- February 23- Why celebrate President's Day when you could be basking in the glory of St. Peter Damian, one of the chief forerunners of the Hildebrandine reform in the Church - Yay!
- May 15- Mother's Day is really wasted nagging old ladies, isn't it? But St. Isidore, the Farmer's Day is always a party!
- June 19- Does anyone out of third grade even know when Flag Day is? You'll never have to be reminded when we start celebrating St. Romuald's Day instead!
- July 4- Forget B-B-Qs and fireworks! The Fourth of July is all about St. Elizabeth of Portugal, of the Third Order of St. Francis, who reminds all of us to go to Mass everyday or be burned alive in a lime-furnace!
- October 9- Columbus day really isn't all that popular anymore anyway. I doubt anyone would complain if we replaced this un-PC excuse for a day off with the holy trio of Saints Denis, Rusticus, and Eleutherius! Just imagine all those cute little school kids cutting off their heads and throwing themselves into rivers!! Heehee! It make me smile so, just to think of their smiling pious heads!
T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
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California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world. (More...)
We here at Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL - world leaders in beverage research and leisure technology) have been noting some complaints about a few of the last Spocktails recipes we’ve released to the general public. Some complaints received to barfback and pigdog-l have centered around the opinion that no one in their right minds would make the drink in question much less consume it. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
