Build Date: Tue Sep 10 23:30:10 2024 UTC
When I
thought something was cool, you suggested that I hook my testicles up
to electricity.
-- Uncle Pedro
Andrew Leonard is a Nutless Boob
2001-04-09 13:04:21
Man, what a creep that Andrew Leonard over to the Salon Magazine is. Wickety-wack half-hearted TOOL of the MAN! Listen to my long vent on street demonstrations for Information Freedom.
Dig this crazy article by Andrew Leonard over at the Salon Magazine, which has got me hopping mad:
http://www.salon.com/tech/col/leon/2001/04/02/napster_march/index.html
What a load of couch-potato PAP! I mean, check out this quote:
"Don't march for Napster, or for file-sharing. Not only is it just not worth it, but to do so would be an insult to the people who have marched for causes that represented something a little bit more meaningful than whether or not you can grab the newest Eminem track from the Net without paying for it."
So, no marches allowed again, ever? Unless it's for something at least as meaningful if not more so than, say, desegregation or stopping a war? Is Coretta Scott King going to weep briny tears if people march for information freedom? Christ. Who gave this dink a pen? He's gonna poke his stupid gibbering eye out.
The legacy of previous battles in the streets should not be that we all sit in our homes, afraid to go out and voice our opinions because it might "insult" someone else who's protested before. That's not what fighting for Free Speech is about! Diggity DAMN, people should exercise that right ALL THE TIME, because folks we respect like hell worked real hard to get it and preserve it. March for more parking spaces! March for tastier beer selections! Picket for Esperanto in public schools! Protest a meeting of the dog-fanciers' society! HIT the STREETS, MOBS of AMERICA. Black 6-year-olds were mauled by attack dogs to earn you the right to carry a picket sign -- not exercising that right is the height of obscenity.
Maybe somebody should tell Andrew Leonard, Brilliant Genius Voice of the Fucking Free Software World Why Yes I -AM- Writing A Book Actually Glad You Asked Gar Gar Gar, that freedom is not lost all in one stroke. It's bit by bit, chink by chink, and each little chink seems meaningless, stupid, and unimportant.
Some dipshit loses his funny domain name? No big deal. Content taken off the Web due to legal harassment? Pfft, wasn't that funny anyways. Dorky file-sharing system with intrusive ads and crap music shuts down? Good riddance. Email filtering on the trunk lines? Ha, that's just an urban legend. Some old lady had to give up her seat on the bus? Huh? They're sending advisors, C-rations and pickup trucks to some teeny weeny brown-people country somewhere? So?
And so on, and so on, and so on.
Jesux Peezux, I'm just hopping mad. What does he think *is* an appropriate response to aggressive litigation? More grimy sniveling from a twerp like C. Scott Ananian? "I, John Q. Citizen, do solemnly swear by the oath of the Model Rocketeers' Society to sit down and be quiet and let other people who are smarter and more authoritative than me fight my battles, amen." Christ.
Marching, demonstrating, picketing and protesting are THE way to legitimize opposition. First off, it's the big step of commitment. Are you just gonna sit there and bitch, or are you going to put your money where your mouth is? Just getting off your duff and standing in the middle of the street with a hand-lettered posterboard, walking around like a goon, means you're willing to act like a doofus for what you believe in. Do you care enough to look uncool? That's a lot of caring.
Second, it's NEWSWORTHY. "'Net Grumpy Over Napster Suit" doesn't make good TV. Those folks from channel 4 get real bored pointing a vidcam at a CRT with a Lycos Chat Room message from "loves2fish229" saying "I M REEL MAD ABOT THE NAPSTURR!!!1!!" But weird cyberpunks in leather and crazy guys with Unix beards storming through the streets of San Francisco, to surround and embarass some unwitting combatant hiding behind a shield of anonymity, though? Now THAT is news. Get truck 3 down there now! Send Dianne Dwyer! And see if you can get a shot of some hippy punker girl with no bra on!
But lastly, it's MEET and RIGHT to walk the streets because the fight for information freedom IS parallel to those other battles of yesterday. Highlighting that parallel, even in a semi-mocking way, strikes an important chord in people's minds. It's a way of saying, YES, the fight for online freedom is in some way equivalent with anti-war protests. YES, you can compare it to 60s civil rights. YES, there are important issues at hand, and YES, there are folks who are pissed off about them enough to hit the streets. YES, it matters. YES, Don Marti is Mohandas K. Gandhi on crack. OKAY, that last one went a little too far, but you know what I mean.
But, of course, gutless simpering twats like Andrew Leonard wouldn't know about that. This Fuckin' Guy. This Fuckin' Guy! Look at this Fuckin' Guy!
Smirkin' GIF-usin' alternad00d, tellin' it like it is. Cripes. Did you know they sell those sensitive-guy beards in 5 different gourmet flavors down at Starbucks now? Learn to be a Real Journalist, you goateed HACK!
Man, when Salon.com folds like an origami crane, he better not bring his resume around the door of PDJ, that's all I got to say.
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)