Set Gag Reflex On Stun
1999-03-15 21:21:00

The Rollins-Shipley Crisis
I've left enough things hanging that they can't afford to fire me.
-- Mr. Bad


During the heyday of the Rollins-Shipley crisis, gentleman Web diarist Wil Shipley made much about his "substitute girlfriend," known only by her first name, "Karawynn" (and later just by her initial "K"). When Shipley shut down his site for personal reasons, citing a fear of hurting "innocent people", it was widely assumed by veteran Rollins-Shipley watchers that Karawynn was one person who Shipley was trying to protect. Well, Pigdog Journal, ever in pursuit of TOTAL COVERAGE, combed the Web in search of this elusive Shipley companion. Our research into her Web journal reveals the shocking truth: Karawynn DESERVES to be hurt.

Bleeeeechk! I dunno where to start - anyone who introduce their site as being "bits and pieces of me and mine" -- no, anyone who uses "mine" like that, should just be shot. No torture, no punishment, just a clean shot to the back of the head. It's not worth spending any more time on them than that.

Just to make sure you aren't drawn to her site outta some voyeuristic curiosity here is a list of all the juicy personal tid-bits:

* She had a tough childhood

* She cries when she is angry

* She loves British and Irish accents (I'm sure the movie industry loves her too)

* She lost her virginity when she was 20

* She doesn't drive, but she thinks the new Beetles are way cool

* She drinks, but hates smoking

* She has written 2 songs

* She's gotten over not being able to sleep naked, but she frequently still sleeps in a T-shirt

* She's polyamorous and hangs out on the Well

* She used to write under the name Melpomene (the muse of tragedy)

* and there's a game you can play to see nude photo's of her.

As if all the Web journals full of whining, self-centered shlock weren't bad enough, "Karawynn" (ugh, I wonder how many pages of doodle-filled binder paper it took to come up with that!) has a journal mailing list. You don't even have to go to the swill, it'll just show up in your mailbox every day! There's even an IRC channel where you can discuss Karawynn 24 hours a DAY!

Hopefully, this will be enough to convince all but the biggest masochists to skip this site, but if you must:

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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