For the first time since the tragic breakup with his long
time lover and net-celebrity Kim Rollins, the jilted Internet
Casanova and founder of Omni Group, Wil Shipley, did not post
anything about the break up on the web yesterday.
Pigdog's panel of experts was divided on what the lack of news
really means. Most felt that Shipley had simply drank himself
into a sleep induced coma and would continue his ranting as soon
as the Mother of All Hangovers dissipated. Others felt that
Shipley had acquired several high caliber handguns and was out
searching for the romantic hideaway where Rollins and her new
lover were engaged in 24 hour non-stop completely orgasmic sex.
The type of sex that
Shipley was apparently unable to provide to his long time
companion. And finally, one lone person voiced that Shipley
had finally come to his senses and realized that posting
details of a soured relationship on the web wasn't the best
method of mending a broken heart.
This heretic was immediately taken out behind the Pigdog
Pub and Fortified Bunker and beaten to a pulp with truncheons.
This lack of news has raised concerns elsewhere in the world.
Pigdog Editor and long time Rollins fan, Mr. Bad, was quoted as
saying "Damn that Shipley... how can we have a crisis if that
stops posting? We want a crisis... we NEED a crisis!!!! You
believe the traffic the Rollins/Shipley Crisis has generated.
He's killing our ad revenue and if he doesn't get his ass
we're gonna hack his site and post for him." Mr. Bad's legal
later denied that their client had made the above statement.