Build Date: Thu Jun 12 09:50:07 2025 UTC
We must pioneer the next step after telecommuting: TELEBARHOPPING.
-- The Compulsive Splicer
Wil Shipley Quiet
1998-11-29 10:55:00
For the first time since the tragic breakup with his long time lover and net-celebrity Kim Rollins, the jilted Internet Casanova and founder of Omni Group, Wil Shipley, did not post anything about the break up on the web yesterday.
Pigdog's panel of experts was divided on what the lack of news really means. Most felt that Shipley had simply drank himself into a sleep induced coma and would continue his ranting as soon as the Mother of All Hangovers dissipated. Others felt that Shipley had acquired several high caliber handguns and was out searching for the romantic hideaway where Rollins and her new lover were engaged in 24 hour non-stop completely orgasmic sex. The type of sex that Shipley was apparently unable to provide to his long time companion. And finally, one lone person voiced that Shipley had finally come to his senses and realized that posting intimate details of a soured relationship on the web wasn't the best method of mending a broken heart. This heretic was immediately taken out behind the Pigdog Publishing Pub and Fortified Bunker and beaten to a pulp with truncheons.
This lack of news has raised concerns elsewhere in the world. Pigdog Editor and long time Rollins fan, Mr. Bad, was quoted as saying "Damn that Shipley... how can we have a crisis if that bastard stops posting? We want a crisis... we NEED a crisis!!!! You can't believe the traffic the Rollins/Shipley Crisis has generated. He's killing our ad revenue and if he doesn't get his ass moving we're gonna hack his site and post for him." Mr. Bad's legal consul later denied that their client had made the above statement.
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