Build Date: Tue Apr 21 09:00:39 2026 UTC
You are wrong, mister arrogant big dumbass theory guy.
-- X
Big Stupid Numbers
1999-12-02 00:05:00
Apparently the latest justification coming down the pipe for the Duncecap Riverdance going on up in Seattle is that it "causes serious problems for the WTO," so therefore anything goes. Right. I bet the WTO is issuing collective heaving sobs right at this minute, tossing and turning in their hotel linens and unable to sleep a wink because all those northwest guttersnipe kids are being sooooo mean to them.
This "big numbers" equals "big results" concept is demonstrably flawed logic. In the early 90s I wandered around San Francisco's Civic Center on a day when half a million freaks (about half of them on stilts) showed up to protest the then-imminent ground attack phase of the Gulf War. Cars got tossed, several buildings were set on fire, kids were clubbed and maced on Market Street and dragged screaming, by the hair, into paddy wagons; meanwhile a block over, a lone cop was cornered and beaten to a pulp by a peaceful mob. I watched a 20-man riot squad in full regalia run straight at me, brandishing clubs, then straight past me to knock down suburban teens in from CoCo County. Then 30 or 40,000 or so people marched right up Market Street and tried to cross the Bay Bridge on foot. It took days to sort out the mess.
The war went on as scheduled.
The difference in 1990 being, of course, that those protesters by the bulk had some vague idea of what they were protesting against. It was that war thing. What's the big issue today with the WTO, Karnage Kiddies? Who the fuck knows, let alone cares, at this point? You might as well shout "No More Knees" at the WTO for all they can parse of it. Let's try to summarize some of the slogans spotted by CNN in the last 24 hours:
- "WTO Violates Women of Color"
- "Sweatshops are Slavery"
- "In Solidarity With the Zapatistas"
- "Wal-Mart Globalizes Poverty"
- "Free Mumia Now"
- "Off the Pigs"
- "Without Jesus, Sin is Heavy"
- "WTO Kills Butterflies"
Also, it's trees and shit, according to some college chicks who are interested in becoming Wiccan. Some blame Pearl Jam, while others point an accusatory finger at Jim "Ernest" Varney. Anything goes in Seattle.
Getting the message loud and clear, WTO?
We're Americans, and we're dumbshits. And we have signs that prove it.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
Hooray! At long last, a NEW Spocktail of the Week! Kid-tested, mother-approved! (More...)
