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In the future, as to not create any more controversy, I will limit my affection and genuine liking of people to a "High Five" or a head butt.
-- Amy
French gonzo wannabes -- and a clown
2001-11-14 02:10:24
"We are the French revival of Gonzo Journalism !" their self-promoting email read. "Would you agree on a link exchange ?"
Actually, their email began with the words "Hello. Guess who ?" That must be some coy French joke. I'm picturing a pouty maid named Babbette in one of those frilly black-and-white outfits. "Hello. Guess who ?" she burbles, as she covers my eyes with her immaculate fingers....
Er, okay, 95 percent of my knowledge of France is limited to Inspector Closeau movies. And the cartoon version where the cabs never stopped for the Inspector, and he'd end up complaining to "Inspector Doo Doo." And that time Alvin and the Chipmunks sang a Maurice Chevalier song. But even so, I'm having a hard time picturing the "French revival of Gonzo journalism." Aren't all French people laughably preening and effete? By definition?
I'd tell you more about their web site, but NeoGonzo.com gives this message when you click on its link for an English version. "Who the fuck do you think you are ? I had to learn your fucking language to go and watch your god damn movies, so if you wanna read my words, go to school motha fucka, and learn French." Well, okay, but there's a difference between being gonzo and being an asshole. Not that the French would know. Especially mincing Frenchmen who open their email to strangers by saying "Hello! Guess who?"
So that's about all I have to report -- except that their web page has a picture of "NeoGonzo Le Clown." (Which, according to Babelfish, translates to "NeoGonzo, the clown.") It's designed to look like Hunter S. Thompson, but with a cute bulbous red nose. Apparently it corresponds to an article on the site which Babelfish translates as " 'The largest caberet of the world': the truth is elsewhere." I'm assuming it must be about the dark tortured genius of Marcel Marceau.
So at this point, I'd have to conclude that being gonzo takes more than sending an email to someone in which you call yourself gonzo. And more than tucking the word "gonzo" into the name of your clown mascot. It's customary at Pigdog Journal to end each article with a link where readers can check things out themselves, but in this case I'm sticking with the crazed neo-disciples that I'm already familiar with. So the link below leads to my best example of some true bad-ass French gonzo entertainment.
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
