Build Date: Fri Oct 4 11:50:09 2024 UTC
We are not interesting people when sober, believe me.
-- Mr. Bad
Net Flotsam
2001-10-19 01:07:22
A lot of humorous stuff rolled in off the web today and since I'm tired of looking that feature about the Free Dimtry Hearing on September 24th I'd thought I'd smash them all together sort like they do on Slashdot every once in a while and see how it goes. Enjoy.
Canadia
Frigate
Canadia Infantry
Canadia Airforce
First Afghan Missile
AFGHAN TV GUIDE
MONDAYS
7:30 PM - I Dream of Fatima
8:00 PM - Husseinfeld
8:30 PM - Mad About Everything
9:00 PM - Suddenly Sanctions
9:30 PM - The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show
10:00 PM - Allah McBeal
TUESDAYS
7:30 PM - I Love Sheep
8:00 PM - Wheel of Terror & Fortune
8:30 PM - The Price Is Right If Osama Says It's Right
9:00 PM - Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things
9:30 PM - Afghanistan's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
10:00 PM - Buffy - The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
WEDNESDAYS
7:30 PM - Talibantubbies
8:00 PM - U.S. Military Secrets Revealed
8:30 PM - When Northern Alliance Attacks
9:00 PM - Two Guys, a Girl and a Pita Bread
9:30 PM - Just Shoot Everyone
10:00 PM - Veilwatch
THURSDAYS
7:30 PM - Hanging With Mr. Hijacker
8:00 PM - Matima Loves Chachi
8:30 PM - M*U*S*T*A*C*H*E
9:00 PM - Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses & Veils
9:30 PM - My Two Bagdads
10:00 PM - Diagnosis: Heresy
FRIDAYS
7:30 PM - This Old Tent
8:00 PM - Movie of the Week Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves
8:30 PM - Khalid and his Camel
9:00 PM - Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say the Darndest Things
9:30 PM - Achmeds Creek
10:00 PM - No-Witness News
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
From the mixed up files of citizen 566-77-0776 (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
