Build Date: Fri Oct 17 05:30:15 2025 UTC
Blogs are to Wikis as masturbation is to anonymous group sex.
-- Master Squid
Save FAQS.org!
2002-01-22 14:18:00
So, if you're like me, you get in arguments all the time with people on the Innurnet. And when you get in those arguments, you like to have URLs to point to so that people know that you're really fricken serious about what you're talking about, and not just some big blowhard know-it-all bastardo, which in fact I am. So having FAQS.org around has preserved the illusion that you and I are not big assholes, which in fact is only partially true.
Dig it: FAQS.org. Like, it's a site that keeps ALL the FAQs you need, in one easy site, for free, without stupid ads or flashy thingies. And it's been pretty damn permanent, up until now, so you could pretty much tell people that they were stupid, and they should read the relevant RFCs about how stupid they are, and also that the newsgroup to which they are currently subscribed is moderated, because of stupid people like them, and that if they weren't so stupid they'd know that, from reading the relevant FAQ, namely,
http://www.faqs.org/fa qs/by-newsgroup/alt/alt.stupidity.html
...or some such.
Anyways, I was just writing a big-ass flame email to stupid Yahoo! Groups, who are really stupid and make really retarded non-standard digests of their email group postings, which seriously pisses me off because then Gnus can't read the digest automatically, which means I have to slog through it by hand, which is absolutely WRONG because I am a busy man and I have no time for this.
And, of course, I was referring the butt-related persons at Yahoo! Groups to the relevant RFCs which show how butt-related they are (namely, 1341 and 1153), and I was checking the FAQS.org site to make sure these were the right ones, and I realized that FAQS.org has big scary WE NEED MONEY messages all over the place, so then I gave them money.
And then I wrote this article to get you to give them money, so it keeps going on. Because I don't want my cover blown, and I'm sure you don't either. So give FAQS.org some fucken money, eh!? Damn.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
