Build Date: Fri Oct 11 11:00:11 2024 UTC
Ordinarily, I'd be happy to piss on you, but then some dog might think I owned you.
-- Reverend Cybersatan
Cool Things To Put on Your J20 Protest Sign
2001-01-19 16:55:54
Hey, going to a protest tomorrow but don't know what to put on your sign? Mr. Bad FEELS YOUR PAIN, so he's given you this list of FINE ANGRY THINGS to scribble in magic marker on your picket sign. So now you don't have an excuse to stay home!
- _EX_ Cocaine User? Nobody Likes a Quitter, George.
- Show Us Your Bush!
- Ha Ha Ha! You Liberals Are All Fucked Now! (P.S. President Bush I Need a Job)
- No No No! SERIOUSLY, Who's the Next President?
- I Drive Drunk Better Than W Governs Sober
- It Took Me A While To
Find My Protest Clothes
They've Been Packed Away For Eight Years - I Need A Miracle
- Maybe He Can Hold Down THIS Job
- It Could Be Worse... I Voted For Howard Phillips
- Burn All GIFs
- I Blame Leo Chiraglione
- I Prefer Bush Well-Trimmed
- Buds
- Where Are Those 'Independence Day' Aliens When You Really Need Them?
- Impeach Bush and Her Husband
- Stop Casting Porosity
- I'm Drunk And I Vote
- Don't Give Me a Tax Cut! I'll Just Spend It On Porn
- Illiterate Cokehead Mama's Boys For Bush:
Finally, Our Voice Will Be Heard - Go NINERS!
- Gore's Daughters Are Much Hotter
- Homeless Vet Will Work For Food
Happy Holidays And God Bless - Free Mumia (So He Can Kick John Ashcroft's Ass)!
- 'WAR On Drugs'?! I Thought You Said 'WHORE On Drugs'! In THAT Case, NO THANKS
- "Daddy, Buy Me The World's Most Powerful Office": How Did We Get VERUCA SALT For President?
- No More Knees!
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
