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Check it out! More crazy Halloween costume ideas for you crazy freaks! Bwahaha! Yippee! Eat THESE keywords, search engine robot spider FUCKS!

So, last year I did a whole bunch of coolio last-minute Halloween costume ideas. And then this year, we were checking the logs here at the PIGDOG MEDIA VENTURES (TM) CENTRAL DATUR WAREHOUSE CENTRE in the enterprise zone of Sparks, NV, and we found out that for some goddamned reason you, our weird readership, were going back to read that article over and over again. Like a HUGE SPIKE in readership.

I'm pretty sure it's due to some weird statistical search engine error, but I'd like to think it's my great lists that keep you coming back for more. Like Cheezits!

Anyways, since I'm never averse to some hitmongering, I'm going to try and RE-CAPTURE the MAGIC by making a whole new set of last-minute Halloween costume ideas. Secret contest: look for the OFFHAND INTERNET CULTURAL REFERENCES. Collect 'em all!

• Eric Raymond's gun collection
• The Need To Know Web-based archives
• WAP
• The great taste of Nutter Butter cookies
• Mary from "Party Girl"
• BT
• The album "Zenyatta Mondatta"
• Leasing vs. buying
• a ballerina
• Mars Blackmon
• A hand-cranked porno movie machine from the 1900s
• Ralph Nader being dragged from the presidential debates
• Rubber bullet
• Sheldon the Sea Genie
• Bituminous coal
• 1/2 Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle, 1/2 Jim Nabors as Vegas lounge act
• Deep Throat (the movie)
• Richard Stallman's crufty notebook computer
• Moesha
• Bill Bixby, in the part where he's between being David Banner and the Hulk. Like, not one or the other, but in between. With the crazy eye thing.
• sed and/or awk
• Bill Bixby in "The Magician"
• The Bernoulli principle
• The Secret Bombings of Cambodia
• Jeff Spicoli
• A cease-and-desist letter
• A loving tribute to CD-ROM-based multimedia and the amazingly creative people who pioneered the craft
• The kind of tired Canadia-baiting thing
• Buckminster Fuller
• Pork rinds
• a guy at a toga party
• a click-through license
• A "Practice Random Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty" bumper sticker
• Drew Wilde
• A participant in a poetry "slam"
• A big cow
• Bill Bixby in "Kentucky Fried Movie"
• The Love Parade
• Paul Reubens
• Analkin Skywalker
• The Superfriends, but only saying "WUUZZZUPPP!!" Like, you can't say anything else. Just "WUZZZUPPPP!!"
• Hey, fuck, man, BILL BIXBY!
• Fucked-up patent mongers Thomson Multimedia Corp
• The Jargon File
• A devil
• Sweet Honey in the Rock
• The ignominious death of the swing dancing craze
• GNU HURD
• Harcourt P. Mudd
• A Sagittarius
• The Porn Lord who financed "Getting It"
• Nordic Trak (the dance)
• Ed Anger
• Nordic Trak (the machine)
• Master Samwise
• Elian Gonzalez in an innertube and his protective phalanx of Virgin-Mary-inspired dolphins
• Proposition L
• WTO
• A "dorse"
• the extreme tediousness of Enterprise Java Beans
• Mikim Corporation
• Candy Angel
• a self-published vanity novel
• Campbell Scott
• Deep Throat (the informer)
• Beetle Bailey, but like asleep in a bed with ZZZZs coming out of his head
• The Star Twins
• Monica Lewinsky with, like, kneepads, but, hold on a sec, the kneepads have the PRESIDENTIAL SEAL on 'em. GETTIT?!? GETTIT?!? Bonus if you smoke a cigar.
• Manuel Noriega in drag
• DeCSS
• TJ Hooker
• Sheila E
• Paul Oakenfold in Ibiza
• Fearless Fosdick
• a crack pipe
• The Bobs
• A drive-up bank window with one of those cool pneumatic tubes
• Esther Dyson
• The Kids from C.A.P.E.R.
• Peeing Calvin
• Tama Janowitz
• Ariel Sharon
• The word "biro"
• Slimey the Worm
• a cowboy
• corduroy O.P. shorts
• The Burning Man
• Lowly Worm
• The unethical practice of long-distance service "slamming"
• Boron
• The New Main Library
• Minnie Pearl
• John Hegelin
• Hell, pretty much _any_ worm
• Kuro5hin.org
• Del Taco
• IPv6
• a sexy cat
• The Dipsea Footrace
• "Faces of Death" and "Faces of Death II" (good couple costume)
• Belden Alley
• Wayne and Garth
• Billy Bragg
• PLUR
• Elroy's getting hit by a wrecking ball
• That crazy UFO guy from US Web. Hah! He's CRAZY, man!
• miniperl
• a princess
• Memepool
• a Grand Slam breakfast
• ANS Forth
• a Wiki
• XHTML
• B2B vs. B2C e-commerce (another good couple costume)
• Deep Throat (the fellatio trick)
• The Seemen
• Del Amo Shopping Center
• slam-dancing
• Angie Dickenson in "Policewoman"
• Bonita Applebaum
• Humbert Humbert
• The song "Who Let the Dogs Out?"

jared@pigdog.org