Last-minute Halloween Costume Ideas: MILLENNIUM EDITION

2000-10-19 21:56:29

Check it out! More crazy Halloween costume ideas for you crazy freaks! Bwahaha! Yippee! Eat THESE keywords, search engine robot spider FUCKS!

So, last year I did a whole bunch of coolio last-minute Halloween costume ideas. And then this year, we were checking the logs here at the PIGDOG MEDIA VENTURES (TM) CENTRAL DATUR WAREHOUSE CENTRE in the enterprise zone of Sparks, NV, and we found out that for some goddamned reason you, our weird readership, were going back to read that article over and over again. Like a HUGE SPIKE in readership.

I'm pretty sure it's due to some weird statistical search engine error, but I'd like to think it's my great lists that keep you coming back for more. Like Cheezits!

Anyways, since I'm never averse to some hitmongering, I'm going to try and RE-CAPTURE the MAGIC by making a whole new set of last-minute Halloween costume ideas. Secret contest: look for the OFFHAND INTERNET CULTURAL REFERENCES. Collect 'em all!

Eric Raymond's gun collection
The Need To Know Web-based archives
WAP
The great taste of Nutter Butter cookies
Mary from "Party Girl"
BT
The album "Zenyatta Mondatta"
Leasing vs. buying
a ballerina
Mars Blackmon
A hand-cranked porno movie machine from the 1900s
Ralph Nader being dragged from the presidential debates
Rubber bullet
Sheldon the Sea Genie
Bituminous coal
1/2 Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle, 1/2 Jim Nabors as Vegas lounge act
Deep Throat (the movie)
Richard Stallman's crufty notebook computer
Moesha
Bill Bixby, in the part where he's between being David Banner and the Hulk. Like, not one or the other, but in between. With the crazy eye thing.
sed and/or awk
Bill Bixby in "The Magician"
The Bernoulli principle
The Secret Bombings of Cambodia
Jeff Spicoli
A cease-and-desist letter
A loving tribute to CD-ROM-based multimedia and the amazingly creative people who pioneered the craft
The kind of tired Canadia-baiting thing
Buckminster Fuller
Pork rinds
a guy at a toga party
a click-through license
A "Practice Random Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty" bumper sticker
Drew Wilde
A participant in a poetry "slam"
A big cow
Bill Bixby in "Kentucky Fried Movie"
The Love Parade
Paul Reubens
Analkin Skywalker
The Superfriends, but only saying "WUUZZZUPPP!!" Like, you can't say anything else. Just "WUZZZUPPPP!!"
Hey, fuck, man, BILL BIXBY!
Fucked-up patent mongers Thomson Multimedia Corp
The Jargon File
A devil
Sweet Honey in the Rock
The ignominious death of the swing dancing craze
GNU HURD
Harcourt P. Mudd
A Sagittarius
The Porn Lord who financed "Getting It"
Nordic Trak (the dance)
Ed Anger
Nordic Trak (the machine)
Master Samwise
Elian Gonzalez in an innertube and his protective phalanx of Virgin-Mary-inspired dolphins
Proposition L
WTO
A "dorse"
the extreme tediousness of Enterprise Java Beans
Mikim Corporation
Candy Angel
a self-published vanity novel
Campbell Scott
Deep Throat (the informer)
Beetle Bailey, but like asleep in a bed with ZZZZs coming out of his head
The Star Twins
Monica Lewinsky with, like, kneepads, but, hold on a sec, the kneepads have the PRESIDENTIAL SEAL on 'em. GETTIT?!? GETTIT?!? Bonus if you smoke a cigar.
Manuel Noriega in drag
DeCSS
TJ Hooker
Sheila E
Paul Oakenfold in Ibiza
Fearless Fosdick
a crack pipe
The Bobs
A drive-up bank window with one of those cool pneumatic tubes
Esther Dyson
The Kids from C.A.P.E.R.
Peeing Calvin
Tama Janowitz
Ariel Sharon
The word "biro"
Slimey the Worm
a cowboy
corduroy O.P. shorts
The Burning Man
Lowly Worm
The unethical practice of long-distance service "slamming"
Boron
The New Main Library
Minnie Pearl
John Hegelin
Hell, pretty much _any_ worm
Kuro5hin.org
Del Taco
IPv6
a sexy cat
The Dipsea Footrace
"Faces of Death" and "Faces of Death II" (good couple costume)
Belden Alley
Wayne and Garth
Billy Bragg
PLUR
Elroy's getting hit by a wrecking ball
That crazy UFO guy from US Web. Hah! He's CRAZY, man!
miniperl
a princess
Memepool
a Grand Slam breakfast
ANS Forth
a Wiki
XHTML
B2B vs. B2C e-commerce (another good couple costume)
Deep Throat (the fellatio trick)
The Seemen
Del Amo Shopping Center
slam-dancing
Angie Dickenson in "Policewoman"
Bonita Applebaum
Humbert Humbert
The song "Who Let the Dogs Out?"

Over. End of Story. Go home now.

yungstud@pigdog.org

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