Build Date: Thu Jun 12 10:40:26 2025 UTC
I think a man is as big as what makes him mad.
-- Reno Smith
What The Hell is This?
2000-05-02 00:43:47
This week, Mr. Bad is taking some time off as he undergoes a radical new operation: having a second liver installed. Mr. Bad's List will feature guest writers Flesh & Abby…
In the late 20th century you could find in every home across America the sickening sweet, syrupy drawings or candles of two naked Keene-esque kids. Normally these drawings would feature the mutant children holding hands, giving flowers to one another, shedding tears on swings, or other situations that would make normal, law abiding citizens grab assault weapons to go on a justifiable shooting rampage.
Most of the Pigdog staff has had, at one time or another, been faced with the painful situation of having to try to explain to the uninformed layman what Pigdog is. Usually, this happens a few minutes before a recreational substance induced coma sets in. In an effort to try to make some sense of what in-the-hell is going on, we have flashed back to those innocent "Love Is…" days to paint a sweet picture for you. We would have supplied drawings to go with these, but our resident artist threatened torture involving moose antlers if we ever suggested it again. So you will just have to use what little imagination you have.
Pigdog is…
- … voluntarily putting your liver through tortures last recorded in Spanish dungeons during the Inquisition.
- … taking a person’s most painful, emotionally shattering moments of their lives, publicly releasing them and holding it against them - all for a cheap laugh. Nothing personal, y’know.
- … releasing your unbridled, over-inflated, intoxicated ego on a bunch of innocent people.
- … going out for a just a couple of drinks, and ending up 500 miles away in search of the best bowl of chili in the state.
- … waking up in the storeroom of a Tijuana Cantina with a passed out hooker.
- … spitting a mouthful of beer on trendy, faux hipsters as you are leaving the premises.
- … sleeping in an adult video arcade.
- … throwing full bottles of beer out the window of a vehicle on the Bay Bridge, because the beer sucks.
- … getting arrested for attempting to break into your own apartment.
- … going into the Mitchell Brothers Adult Theater, and having light saber duels with the flashlights.
- … showing up in drag to meet friends and/or associates you haven't seen in several years and barely know.
- … dropping acid in church with your mom.
- … falling into either a K or E hole, and liking it…. REALLY liking it!
- … never having to say you are wrong, even when you are.
- … never having to say you’re sorry, even when you know you should.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
Canadia Revealed: A Brief Guide to a Large Country
Recently Pigdog has received many letters from readers who are apparently puzzled and upset by our regular coverage of the mysterious nation north of our border, Canadia. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)
When you've been up all night sampling other Spocktails and guzzling absinthe, you need a morning pick-me-up with some KICK. Time for a tall glass of Blurry Sharp Meltdown! (More...)
