This week, Mr. Bad is taking some time off as he undergoes
a radical new operation: having a second liver installed.
Mr. Bad's List will feature guest writers Flesh & Abby…
In the late 20th century you could find in every home across America the
sickening sweet, syrupy drawings or candles of two naked Keene-esque kids.
Normally these drawings would feature the mutant children holding hands, giving
flowers to one another, shedding tears on swings, or other situations that
would make normal, law abiding citizens grab assault weapons to go on a
justifiable shooting rampage.
Most of the Pigdog staff has had, at one time or another, been faced with the
painful situation of having to try to explain to the uninformed layman what
Pigdog is. Usually, this happens a few minutes before a recreational substance
induced coma sets in. In an effort to try to make some sense of what
in-the-hell is going on, we have flashed back to those innocent "Love Is…" days
to paint a sweet picture for you. We would have supplied drawings to go with
these, but our resident artist threatened torture involving moose antlers if we
ever suggested it again. So you will just have to use what little imagination
you have.
Pigdog is…
… voluntarily putting your liver through tortures last recorded in
Spanish dungeons during the Inquisition.
… taking a person’s
most painful, emotionally shattering moments of their lives, publicly releasing
them and holding it against them - all for a cheap laugh. Nothing personal,
y’know.
… releasing your unbridled, over-inflated,
intoxicated ego on a bunch of innocent people.
… going out
for a just a couple of drinks, and ending up 500 miles away in search of the
best bowl of chili in the state.
… waking up in the
storeroom of a Tijuana Cantina with a passed out hooker.
…
spitting a mouthful of beer on trendy, faux hipsters as you are leaving the
premises.
… sleeping in an adult video arcade.
… throwing full bottles of beer out the window of a vehicle on the Bay
Bridge, because the beer sucks.
… getting arrested for
attempting to break into your own apartment.
… going into
the Mitchell Brothers Adult Theater, and having light saber duels with the
flashlights.
… showing up in drag to meet friends and/or
associates you haven't seen in several years and barely know.
… dropping acid in church with your mom.
… falling into
either a K or E hole, and liking it…. REALLY liking it!
…
never having to say you are wrong, even when you are.
…
never having to say you’re sorry, even when you know you should.
