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Monkeys Attack Girls School
2002-04-05 11:38:30


Monkey Business
 
A person not on a speed bender will have enough common sense to avoid using dynamite in disputes over neighborhood lighting issues.
-- Johnnie Royale

 

In what has become apparently an annual ritual, a pack of ultra fundamentalist Monkeys, incapable of accepting Mankind's rise as the dominate species on the planet, has attacked a girls school in India, in an apparent attempt to thwart the education process with the ultimate goal of toppling our civilization.

The monkeys have successfully destroyed thousands of books and have established a base camp in the school's cafeteria from which they launch their assaults at any student trying to become educated enough to escape the desperate poverty of Indian's lower classes.

What is even scarier is that many of the local town's people believe that the monkeys are sacred, preventing any sort of rational response. Since when are monkeys sacred? That's just bullshit. Cows I can understand... sort of... well, ok, I don't get the whole cow worship thing either. But monkeys? No way. Who would ever pray to a monkey? They'd just laugh at you and then throw shit at you and then laugh some more when you are covered in monkey shit.

I figure that them monkeys must have developed some sort of brain wave zapper technology that makes the locals think that monkeys are holy and monkeys are using these rays against to uneducated masses to hinder any large scale opposition.

If this sounds like some horrible Planet of the Apes movie plot, you're right. I can only surmise that this is a proving ground for some secret monkey cult to develop the means for those stinking poo throwers to take over the world. And I think that they are farther along then we realize. Have you ever seen a picture of our selected president? Doesn't he look like a MonkeyBoy? Doesn't he talk like a MonkeyBoy? Hell, doesn't he act like a MonkeyBoy? Fucking A People, we've had a some sort of super clonenated, artifooical, gene amplified monkey installed as the leader of the most power nation in the world by our Supreme Court. Another group of "people" that I'm now highly suspicious of being more ape then man.

All the pieces are starting to fit into place and I'm telling you, if we don't start fighting back now, we all gonna be monkeys' bitches before long.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

quadratic@pigdog.org


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