Build Date: Tue Feb 17 06:50:08 2026 UTC
I quit drinking, and then I lost my car, and my house, my girlfriend and my job and my self respect. Now I'm homeless, unemployed, riding public transpo, broke, unloved and suicidally depressed, but you know what? today I don't have to drink.
-- Splicer
Bush Manages a Complete Sentence
2004-06-15 15:51:00
Today on national television, President George W. Bush managed to utter a complete sentence that was grammatically correct and contained only words found in the English language.
In between the usual half-sentences and partial thoughts which flow from the President's lips like a victim of Tourette's Syndrome with a speech impediment, Bush managed to say "The economic stimulus plan we put in place is working."
While not actually true, the sentence is a complete English sentence and is also grammatically correct, a marked departure from the President's usual speaking style.
The President appears to only use this new speaking style when repeating sentences that his handlers have written for him. When talking off-the-cuff to visiting President Karzai of Afghanistan, Bush said "You want to keep taking questions, or you want to go eat lunch?"
Although Karzai wanted to keep taking questions, Bush wisely cut off questioning before someone asked him something difficult. "Lunch awaits us," said Bush.
"Lunch awaits us, indeed," said Karzai.
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