Build Date: Fri Oct 9 19:21:03 2026 UTC
The future is like walking down some unlit corridor, and it gets darker and darker as you move into it.
-- Jack Valenti
Counterfeit Counter-Espionage!
2000-05-25 22:43:37
"My name is Banks. Agent Banks.
"My body is only six inches wide, but my eerie pupil-less blue eyes were paid for by your tax dollars..."
"When the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing needed a Shockwave cartoon character to explain their re-designed dollar bills, they called in me! 'Agent Banks!' See me rock my head back and forth! Thrill as I extend my arm repeatedly for no apparent reason! Watch me slide from one side of your screen to the other!
I'm the product of many lonely nights for web designers at the government's hip new web site at MoneyFactory.com. Unfortunately, all the best ideas were already taken by the U.S. Mint for those funky gold dollar ads. But I'm here -- to make learning about the new currency fun!
Did you know that ink jet printers, color copiers, and scanners are just a few of the tools criminals use to create bogus bills?! I'm not making this up! But ya know, money is more than just green and white slips of paper. It's the government-issued tokens denoting monetary units exchangeable for -- hey! Pay attention!
You can test your currency knowledge in my "Fun and Games" section! See me bounce on a trampoline in a yellow beanie cap with a dollar sign on it! Take multiple choice quizzes to browbeat government talking points into your...
Aw, who am I kidding? I'm probably the lamest informational government-sponsored Shockwave animation around.
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It's winter in Idaho, and Boise personality "Lego-Man" reports on how he celebrated Thanksgiving. "I fed my wife, mother and sister wine slurpies!" (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Alright kids, this is the column where you write in with the lurid details of your personal lives, and I put them on the Internet for everyone to snicker at. But also, I give you a free Tarot reading, so there's that. (More...)
