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I AM 3XTR33M, D00D
2000-01-28 13:46:33


Laughable Technology
 
I don't waste much time trying to tell one monkey from another.
-- enigma

 

It's the latest fad that's sweeping the programming community by storm! EXTREEM PROGRAMMING! Wee-haw! Let's all go SKY SURFING and write some CODE!

Some people would say that the EXTREME MEME is completely bankrupt and defunct. What with extreme sports, Pepperidge Farms Extreme Goldfish, and even Extreme Linux, it'd be a safe bet to say that this whole "extreme" thing has played itself out to a sputtering, blecherous death. BUT! There's all these crazy programmers who want to prove that WRONG!

I don't very much UNDERSTAND this extreme programming (or "XP") thing, actually. As best I can tell, the point is to act like a SHITHOUSE CRAZY BERSERKER during the entire programming process. Skip writing requirements! Jump into coding with both feet! Bungie-jump from helicopters while debugging yer Javur! Ski off a cliff into a giant vat of database objects! Be crazy! Run around like a MAD ARTILLERY GUNNER! Wee-haw, we're making a PARADIGM!

It looks to me that they're just enshrining the principles of unorganized barbarianism into a theory that will get lots of software consultants a big contracting deal. Which, like, far be it from ME to stand in the way of. The vast majority of programming operations ALREADY work in total chaos, despair, testosterone and disorganization. The message of XP Extreme programming seems to be saying, "Don't even BOTHER trying to get your shit together." Jimcrack programmers are gonna lap that up! It's like selling refridgerators to the Inuit!

Go chiggity-check out this EXTREME PROGRAMMING stuff. Make big horrible MESSES of your already late and collapsing development processes. Go do some XP! And tell them Mr. Bad sent you!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

tablesalt@pigdog.org


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