Build Date: Wed Oct 15 07:30:12 2025 UTC
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
-- W.C. Fields
Talk Show Host Blames Downfall on Chatroom Vixens
1999-07-02 19:48:05
A pornographic photo of wild Australian talk show host David Oates has been making the rounds of the web. It has become the centerpiece in a multimillion dollar law suit, and countersuit, between Art Bell and Oates. The issue at hand is, how did this nasty photo get on the web in the first place?
Two versions of the truth seem to be emerging in the Talk Show Wars between Bell and his arch nemesis, David John Oates. Neither side disputes Oates' weakness for Internet chatroom swinging. But, according to Art Bell's lawyer, Gerard Fox, Oates is claiming that Art Bell induced, or hired, two chatroom floozies to take advantage of his horny chatroom habits.
Art and his lawyer spent the better part of an hour of last night's broadcast scoffing at the notion, and Art patently denied ever knowing the two women.
The Oates' version of the story has it that a "pimpdaddy" Art put these two women up to seducing him online, and published damaging things about him to their respective web sites.
Allegedly, Melany Gavigan, a former disgruntled student of Oates' Reverse Speech school, and a rabid Art Bell fan, lured Oates into a session of steamy "cybersex," where he was persuaded to email her a butt naked photograph of himself for her to use. Playing him for a fool, she then posted it to her web site for the world to laugh at, and Art immediately linked his web site to her web site and encouraged his audience to have a good laugh too.
Another former chatroom girlfriend, Naomi Longson, who goes by the name "Skarlet" online, had such an ICQ romance going with Oates that they even met in person. She sent Pigdog a letter saying that she was even Oates' former fiancee, but broke off the engagement because of Oates' strange "world view," and scary circle of friends.
As part of Oates' complaint against Art Bell, he says that Longson accused him of murder in a statement on her web site. But according to her she did not. Instead, she recounts an intimate conversation with Oates' in which he bragged of killing several assassins who were out to get him because of the fact that he knows too much about Reverse Speech.
In the complaint he accuses Naomi Longson of being an agent of Art Bell. Bell denies this, but we wrote to Ms. Lonston to ask her whether there is any truth to the allegation, and so far we have heard nothing back, despite earlier replies from her clarifying her relationship to the case.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Last week I had eye surgery and it was certainly one of the least enjoyable episodes of my life. Eye Surgeons like their patients to be conscious enough so that they can move their eyes to the proper position during surgery. (More...)
A Treatise Prepared for the Gallup Organization on the Symbolism of the Scarab
Well dahlings, the response to my new tarot column has been quite overwhelming. I got three whole pieces of mail requesting my arcane insight. One asked why blogs suck so much, and one was a completely incomprehensible tale of bears shitting random numbers in the woods — I am fairly certain it was a cryptographic allegory. Howsomever, only ONE of the inquiries was accompanied by a crisp ten-dollar bill, and so it's the Gallup Organization that will this week reap the benefit of my wicked pack of cards. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)