Build Date: Fri Jul 11 11:50:37 2025 UTC
Sheep, calf, pig; whatever semi-living meat is wandering around, the British will eat it.
-- Tjames Madison
Esperanto for Bad Swingers of the Future
2000-11-01 12:09:06
But of course! Esperanto is useful for so many purposes, it's time to use it for picking up fraulinoj, my friend.
As is often pointed out, Esperanto is the language of the future for Bad People everywhere. The more diabolical among you have already taken steps towards mastering this great language. Some of you have not been so quick on the uptake. Perhaps it's because of the lack of immediately useful phrases. Sure, you can ask for the nearest toilet in an Esperantejo with Travlang, but what about the useful stuff? Look no further, friends.
How to speak Esperanto like a restless native will give you a good foundation for your future learning, and more importantly your confidence. No longer will you have to fumble around with your English to Esperanto dictionary when you're talking to a belulinoj (attractive woman). By memorising just a few key phrases like "Mi estas festema ulo." and "Mi ne plu estas infektita.", your dream esperantist date will be putty in your hands.
For the odd Klingon or Finn you run into, this site has just as useful phrase pages.
T O P S T O R I E S
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
