Build Date: Fri Jul 4 03:00:55 2025 UTC
Personally, I wouldn't fly all the way to Dimension Q to save Hawkman's useless ass, but that's just me.
-- Mr. Bad
Let GNU Privacy Guard Cover Your Ass
1999-08-12 10:40:36
d00d, you HAVE to get GPG! The Age of Encryption is here! If you don't get some GPG, your VIRTUAL ASS will be hanging out in the WIND!
OK, so, here's Mr. Bad's 200 word take on encryption in general and GPG in particular: it is time for you to PANIC! All kinds of data you have, like email and files and shit like that, are FLYING through the AETHER or lying around on SOMEONE ELSE'S MACHINE! ISPs and employers are NOTORIOUS for going into your files and mail at RANDOM TIMES, just to check up on you! Like those bad things you said about drugs and guns, THEY'RE LOOKING AT THAT RIGHT NOW!
And they turn over for the COPS like THAT! Imagine I just snapped my fingers, because that's how fast they turn over! In the snap of a finger! Oh, and if the cops have a warrant, they can SEIZE YOUR COMPUTER and just go fishing around on your hard drive until they find something INCRIMINATING. FUCK!
The essence of this is that YOU ARE BEING WATCHED. You may already be highly SCREWED.
Now, people like the EFF tell you to temper your speech and consider all the stuff you put on the Internet as public. But what kind of BULLSHIT is that? Fuck that! I don't want to temper myself, and I don't want to get screwed by bad authority figures and wimpy buttboy ISPs. THAT'S WHY YOU GOTTA have some ENCRYPTION.
Encryption = fussing up your files and email so only the people who are supposed to be able to read them can read them. You get a program for encrypting shit, and then you encrypt it, and it looks like gibberish. Then you send the gibberish to someone, and they unencrypt it, and then they can see the shit, and COOL. Encryption is GOOD JUJU.
The technology has been around for a while, but very bad people like the FBI and the NSA and the RSA folks have been keeping people from getting good encryption technology through crazy-ass things like export control and patent suits and so forth. And the best crypto package, PGP, has been bought by a weirdo company, who's way in bed with the Feds, and they're pretty screwy in a lot of ways, and the software's proprietary, and the source is hard to get, and just fuck it.
But no MORE! Now there's a very cool crypto program, GnuPG, that's FREE SOFTWARE, meaning that you get the SOURCE CODE and the compiled program, and you can give it to WHOEVER YOU WANT. And it doesn't cost nothing. GPG is REALLY BITCHEN. I highly recommend that you check it out TODAY!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
Body and Soul, a night of fucking in San Francisco
For the benefit of Pigdog readers, I took it upon myself to explore the deep frontiers of human behavior and attend a saucy festival of the flesh. This was no ordinary fete of carnal delights, dearie. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
Mr. Bad and Crackmonkey collaborate on a fine Mr. Bad's List. We put together ALL the TECHNOLOGY you ever need to know in order to STUMP your OPPONENT in a technical argument. Use these only when your back is against the wall -- they're definitely desperation tactics. (More...)
