Ever feel like you're not getting the whole story?


Excellent Forth Magazine Online
2000-10-05 17:36:45

Quantum Deepfried Electro-Diddle
Don't hate me because I'm the golden child.
-- Special Ed


Man, the Forth Interest Group (FIG) of the UK (U) is really pretty damn on top of things. Not only has their Web site been updated like 30 million times since the last update of forth.org, but they also publish their newsletter, "Forthwrite," on the Web. Which, like, coolio, eh?

No, serious, I know this sounds deadly boring, but hear me out. As I've pointed out before, Forth is the most shithouse crazy programming language in the entire world.

Sure, you're not going to get a big fancy job from knowing Forth, but who cares about that? Only shithead dot-com losers learn programming languages just to get jobs and make money. Fucking hell! You should just get a job doing Visual Basic programming for nursing homes with that attitude, Jimmy!

I can almost hear you now. "I don't *want* to learn Forth! I want to learn Javascript so I can make interactive Dyna-Hatemail fuckball Websites gar gar gar and get a job as Junior Assistant dickhead Website maintenance buttboy at Broccoli dot Com, the online broccoli portal." WHINE WHINE WHINE! I wish I could slap you through the computer monitor, you chump. Have some fucking cojones is what I'm saying here.

Anyways, to recap: Forth is valuable because a) it is so crazy that it will break your brain and make you the ultimate Bad Person of the Future and b) it will teach you how to make a fleet of warbots to take over desert Planet Garfalune. If that holds no appeal, and you would rather have a job maintaining convoluted stolen Javascript code for IE 3.5 for the Mac for the rest of your life, well go RIGHT ahead, you mongoloid subnormal. I can't really stop you.

Anyways, on to Forthwrite: this is a fine newsletter-like magazine thing put out by the fanatic Forth-loving underculture in the United Kingdom. Unlike "Forth Dimensions," its American counterpart, this mag is on the WEB, and it's also still being PUBLISHED.

There's all kinds of good articles available in PDF format, which is all right I guess. At least there's an Acrobat Reader for Linux, unlike cheeseball Quicktime, which like I'm kind of pissed off about. Anyways, where was I? Oh, yeah, there's cool articles, like on the hip Canon Cat Forth-based computer of the late 1980s and on Charles Moore's new explorations into "Color Forth." (Don't ask, d00d! You're going to piss kiwi fruit when you see what kind of insane shit "Gnarly Charlie" Moore is up to now! Serious!)

Apparently they keep the articles about warbots in a separate members-only newsletter or something, because I couldn't find any. However, the shithouse crazy part is still intact. So, check out Forthwrite, and rock out. If you live in the UK, join the FIG UK, and send me a copy of the s00per-sekrit members-only warbot article.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.


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