Build Date: Thu Aug 20 16:00:12 2026 UTC
My mommy was busy selling pez to gutterpunks on University Way trying to convince them it was crack.
-- Gank
Excellent Forth Magazine Online
2000-10-05 17:36:45
Man, the Forth Interest Group (FIG) of the UK (U) is really pretty damn on top of things. Not only has their Web site been updated like 30 million times since the last update of forth.org, but they also publish their newsletter, "Forthwrite," on the Web. Which, like, coolio, eh?
No, serious, I know this sounds deadly boring, but hear me out. As I've pointed out before, Forth is the most shithouse crazy programming language in the entire world.
Sure, you're not going to get a big fancy job from knowing Forth, but who cares about that? Only shithead dot-com losers learn programming languages just to get jobs and make money. Fucking hell! You should just get a job doing Visual Basic programming for nursing homes with that attitude, Jimmy!
I can almost hear you now. "I don't *want* to learn Forth! I want to learn Javascript so I can make interactive Dyna-Hatemail fuckball Websites gar gar gar and get a job as Junior Assistant dickhead Website maintenance buttboy at Broccoli dot Com, the online broccoli portal." WHINE WHINE WHINE! I wish I could slap you through the computer monitor, you chump. Have some fucking cojones is what I'm saying here.
Anyways, to recap: Forth is valuable because a) it is so crazy that it will break your brain and make you the ultimate Bad Person of the Future and b) it will teach you how to make a fleet of warbots to take over desert Planet Garfalune. If that holds no appeal, and you would rather have a job maintaining convoluted stolen Javascript code for IE 3.5 for the Mac for the rest of your life, well go RIGHT ahead, you mongoloid subnormal. I can't really stop you.
Anyways, on to Forthwrite: this is a fine newsletter-like magazine thing put out by the fanatic Forth-loving underculture in the United Kingdom. Unlike "Forth Dimensions," its American counterpart, this mag is on the WEB, and it's also still being PUBLISHED.
There's all kinds of good articles available in PDF format, which is all right I guess. At least there's an Acrobat Reader for Linux, unlike cheeseball Quicktime, which like I'm kind of pissed off about. Anyways, where was I? Oh, yeah, there's cool articles, like on the hip Canon Cat Forth-based computer of the late 1980s and on Charles Moore's new explorations into "Color Forth." (Don't ask, d00d! You're going to piss kiwi fruit when you see what kind of insane shit "Gnarly Charlie" Moore is up to now! Serious!)
Apparently they keep the articles about warbots in a separate members-only newsletter or something, because I couldn't find any. However, the shithouse crazy part is still intact. So, check out Forthwrite, and rock out. If you live in the UK, join the FIG UK, and send me a copy of the s00per-sekrit members-only warbot article.
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
