Build Date: Fri Jun 13 09:20:10 2025 UTC
I really shouldn't have gone to the game as I had so much work to do around the house, but it was nice to actually see the sun - it is yellow you know.
-- Johnnie Royale
Free to Be You and Me
2000-03-13 16:18:59
So, here's the diddly-d0: the once titanic BeOS is now moving into the same boring space as other also-rans like SCO. They're going to be giving away the new version of their interesting operating system to all comers. Yippee for that!
This Be company has been a humongous disappointment for the entire world. It's a sad sad thing! Started a bunch of years ago by disgruntled Apple hackers and a florid French nutbag, Jean-Louis Gassee, Be came out strong with this nutty ol' computer called the BeBox. It had dual PPC processors (with killer little flittery CPU-meter lites on the front) and bad-ass multimedia support and etc. But the key part was the fabuloso BeOS, a crazy OS with all kinds of multimedia optimizations and brutal threading and brilliant oopy filesystems and such.
Like, at trade shows, they'd have these nutty BeBoxen out on tables, and they'd do weird spinning cubes on the screen with live video feeds on each side of the cube, to show you how violently ass-kicking the multi-threading was. Everybody loved that! It would be great to have a spinning live-feed video cube on your desktop, for a little while, at least.
The BeBoxen were so hot that at one point Apple was considering licensing BeOS to become the new Apple OS for all eternity. Mac crazies were all going freaky at the very thought, because Be was so great, and since the only people left using Macs at the time were total fanatics who would spray your face with indignant spittle if you suggested that Macs weren't the technological hot shit that they'd been in 1986.
But then for various evil political reasons Apple decided to buy the nutty NextStep (since it had a special sekrit prize Steve Jobs in every box), and Be got all forgotten in the snow. They did a lot of crazy-ass shit, like porting their weird BeOS to Intel platform and PC compatibles, but truth be told it never really panned out. Everybody who was looking for an alternative OS in the 90s was looking at a free Unix clone, like Linux or *BSD, not a creepy closed-source French hillbilly package made by strange hipsters who like to put videos on cubes. And the people who needed high-end multimedia blarg were sticking with their Macs and Amigurs and SGIs and whatnot.
Not to say that there's not a fanatical fringe of crazed BeOS fanatics out there, because there is. They've done all kinds of nutty ports of stuff like GNU software to BeOS, not only because it would be a pretty useless OS if all you could do was make spinning video cubes, but also because it's supposedly a pretty peppy little baby to work with. Be people love Be! is the point I'm trying to make.
SO, Be has continued is grievous downward slide into the last desperate refuge for operating system scoundrels, EMBEDDED SYSTEMS. Their BeIA is for some kind of bletcherous Internet appliances, which everybody hates because you can't play good pornos on them. Even goobs like Larry Ellison have pretty much given up on these things, but far be it from me to pull out the lifeline for Be. God love 'em, I hope this BeIA thing works out.
BUT, more to the point: Be is going to be giving away binaries of their BeOS version 5.0 "sometime in late Q1 2000." They've got a good strategy: make your OS boot straight from Windows, so people who would normally be too scared to install a new OS can do it and think they're just running, like, Quake on their Winbox. I'll probably try this damn thing out when it's available, just for the hell of it.
Hopefully, though, someone's working on open-sourcing that damn BeOS, so when Be, Inc. goes belly up, the source will be out there for fanatics to continue to develop. Who knows? There might be some good tidbits in there for other OSes to use.
Anyways, go get you some free BeOS, or at least go slaver over how you're gonna get you some free BeOS once Q1 is over, and salute yet another brave soldier in the alternative OS market. Dream of a alternative timeline where a Dieter Frenchman runs the dada Apple empire! Beaujolais for Be!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)