Build Date: Tue Oct 14 05:40:17 2025 UTC
Blech, secession is such a treasonous act.
-- Master Squid
When Martin Left Lewis
2023-08-01 06:19:36
Last week was the anniversary of the last time Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin appeared as an act. 67 years ago, as the show ended at New York's Copacabana Club, "Dean threw his arm around Jerry, pulled him toward him, hugged him," remembers one biographer. "The joint was in an uproar. It was the biggest night in the club's history.
"There was no encore. Dean took one aisle away from the stage, Jerry took another."
That warts-and-all biography -- titled Dino: Living High in the Dirty Business of Dreams -- captured Dean's growing frustration with Jerry Lewis. ("Jerry reportedly cried hysterically in his dressing room," remembers one web site.) But the biography ends this chapter -- "Bread and Circuses" -- with what were apparently their final words spoken in their last conversation later that night.
Jerry Lewis -- presumably feeling lost, if not clingy and needy -- phones Dean's room at the hotel in the "early-morning" hours.
Dean Martin: Hello, pallie. How're you holdin' up?
Jerry Lewis: I don't know. We had some good times, didn't we?
Dean: There'll be more.
Jerry: Yeah, well, take care of yourself.
Dean: You too, pal.
That's the story I've always heard -- but there's another version. While Jerry Lewis cries backstage in the dressing room, Dean Martin enters. There's a 2002 made-for-TV movie that ends with this scene, (which someone has helpfully pirated to YouTube).
The setup? Throughout the movie Dean is emotionally unavailable -- not just to Jerry, but to the wife he divorces and the people around him. Meanwhile Jerry's own father doesn't approve of their act, leaving Jerry with the opposite emotion: a lifelong desparation for approval.
So after their final show, here's how the movie envisions that final conversation:
Dean Martin: How you holdin' up?
Jerry Lewis: Good. (Dramatic pause) Okay. You?
Dean: Um... Good show, huh?
Jerry: Best one yet.
Dean: Yeah. (Long pause) Thanks for a great ride.
Jerry: Love you.
Dean: I love you back.
Reportedly Jerry Lewis worked as a "consultant" on the film -- and some fans complained the movie demonized Dean while giving Jerry everything he could've wanted. (Although there's also a rumor that Jerry Lewis bought the rights to the film -- just so he could stop it from ever being shown again.) I personally find this ending unsatisfying -- like Dean Martin finally gives in to the neediness of Jerry Lewis. I guess I want to believe Jerry Lewis just wrote it himself.
Both conversations could've happened. But where's the fun in that? (For what it's worth, the movie is based on a book by Groucho Marx's son Arthur Marx. The biographer who wrote Dino also cites an article by Arthur Marx -- but one that appeared in the National Enquirer.) I came here to argue that Jerry Lewis made up a story where Dean Martin showers him with all the approval he'd ever wanted.
And then for revenge, I'd share an equally-valid documentary about the life of Jerry Lewis -- from those noted documentary makers "Filmation"...
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It's that time of year again -- Burning Man Season -- and that means fresh SCIENCE! Here is a new lab experiment for the fruity hillbilly in all of us. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
