Build Date: Mon Sep 9 08:10:06 2024 UTC
Lawyers don't show up in photographs (or mirrors). Why do you think we have to use artists' renderings of trials?
-- S Dallas, Esq
Creationism Road Kill Fever!
1999-10-21 18:16:24
Hello, my name is Negative Nancy and I have a problem. I can't stop. I can't look away. It's starting to interfere with my work, my love life, my family. It's tearing me away from the people and the things I love. I read wacko religious propaganda on the internet.
I usually download it late a night when ever one else has gone to sleep. I live in fear that some day, someone will find me out. I would loose eveything-- the children, my job, the house, the dog. But I can't stop. I know I'm not along. I heard somewhere that there are hundreds, maybe even thousands of wacko right-wing extremist sites out there. They say that some of them we around even before the Internet, but that the web has allowed them to reach people the never would have with pamphlets or newsletters. People like me.
I started out with the little stuff. Sites like the Catholic family movie reviews that criticize stuff like "Dough's First Movie" for showing cartoon children in their underwear. From there I found links to sites like the anti-catholic bias watchdog.
From there is was easy to start reading harder stuff like Rapture Ready, which kindly includes pages to be read by those who are left behind after the Rapture of Christ, as well as a weekly "Rapture Index," so you can stay on top of events during the End Days.
But now it's getting out of hand. I really feel like I've lost all control. I try and get my "fix" just by reading some anti-gay screeds and maybe a few Armageddon senerios. But that doesn't seem to be enough to satisfy me. I need more. I need Creationist Pseudo Science! I need fossil bones planted by Satan! I need a 6,000 year old planet! I need Suns created in a day!
But deep down I know, what I really need is help.
help me. please.
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Datelined "Historic Mariposa," the fateful press release came in like an angry wind, announcing the release of a self-produced album, "Ordinary Hero," by occasional Pigdog contributor Thom Stark, in the language and tone of a Major Event, setting off a brief firestorm around the pigdog mailing list. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)
