Build Date: Wed Feb 12 10:31:20 2025 UTC
People are waiting in line just to kill your dog.
-- Doctor Murdock
Creationism Road Kill Fever!
1999-10-21 18:16:24
Hello, my name is Negative Nancy and I have a problem. I can't stop. I can't look away. It's starting to interfere with my work, my love life, my family. It's tearing me away from the people and the things I love. I read wacko religious propaganda on the internet.
I usually download it late a night when ever one else has gone to sleep. I live in fear that some day, someone will find me out. I would loose eveything-- the children, my job, the house, the dog. But I can't stop. I know I'm not along. I heard somewhere that there are hundreds, maybe even thousands of wacko right-wing extremist sites out there. They say that some of them we around even before the Internet, but that the web has allowed them to reach people the never would have with pamphlets or newsletters. People like me.
I started out with the little stuff. Sites like the Catholic family movie reviews that criticize stuff like "Dough's First Movie" for showing cartoon children in their underwear. From there I found links to sites like the anti-catholic bias watchdog.
From there is was easy to start reading harder stuff like Rapture Ready, which kindly includes pages to be read by those who are left behind after the Rapture of Christ, as well as a weekly "Rapture Index," so you can stay on top of events during the End Days.
But now it's getting out of hand. I really feel like I've lost all control. I try and get my "fix" just by reading some anti-gay screeds and maybe a few Armageddon senerios. But that doesn't seem to be enough to satisfy me. I need more. I need Creationist Pseudo Science! I need fossil bones planted by Satan! I need a 6,000 year old planet! I need Suns created in a day!
But deep down I know, what I really need is help.
help me. please.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
