Build Date: Fri Jul 4 03:30:52 2025 UTC
Wasting somebody else's time strikes me as the height of rudeness.
-- Bill Gates
Report from Webzine 98
1998-11-15 17:42:00
OK, so, a field team from Pigdog Journal was dispatched to this Webzine 98 craziness in order to cruise and schmooze. I can't speak for the entire team, but I have to say on my part that a good time was had.
Pigdog got there late in the evening -- like 10PM. We'd decided to meet at Wa-ha-ka!, the up-scale taqueria, which was a fucking hell's nest of screeching yuppie evil people. Not to mention the fact that we were attending in our persona of Purpledyne Multimedia -- the hip, black-and-purple wearing New Media gurus -- and we got a lot of evil looks and balled-up napkins thrown at us. Early-comers hunkered down over pitchers of watery margaritas waiting for our wiser comrades. All in all, Bunny, MLE, me, Murdock and Ratsnatcher were there.
Also, Wendy from Pottymouth (http://www.arlington.com/~pmouth/) was there, so we had to kind of be nice to her. Pottymouth is kind of the Radcliffe to Pigdog's Harvard, y'know, so we have to hang out with them sometimes. Once we were inside, she showed us all the crazy sex stuff they have on their site, which is pretty darn a lot. But, still, we couldn't be as self-centered and jingoistic as I usually am.
Anyways, we ambled over to Transmission theater around 10PM. We were fortunate enough to miss most of the Digital Gar Gar Gar and arrive just in time for the Aquamen to start playing. What blather we _did_ hear was intelligent and good, but it was kind of preaching-to-the-choir stuff about non-commercialism on the Web and how zines are real great and whatnot. I kinda got the feeling that the speakers were generally pissed off at not having been invited to the Aspen Institute or NPR's "Tech Nation" and were venting here instead. It seemed like we were listening to _Wired_ magazine's second-string lineup.
Maybe I'm just bitter because no one from Pigdog was asked to talk. I dunno.
One nice thing was that Unamerican Activities (http://www.unamerican.com/) had a table with all their stickers and t-shirts and shit. They were giving away "FUCK WORK" stickers and I got, like, 600 of them. Bunny and MLE made geometrical tattoos with "FUCK WORK" stickers on their arms and foreheads.
There were computers against one wall to look at the Web with. We managed to take some time to seed all the computers with our URL, and to mock the other sites that had their pages up. No offense to anyone reading, but we _R00L_ compared to some of the low-grade stuff out there.
By the time the Aquamen came on, we were bored and ready for some music. And they ROCKED!!! the mic, bay-bee. Incredibly super-fantastic surf music. The Pigdog team led the way in dancing like maniacs while other, cooler-than-thou folks were still bobbing their heads. YAY for us.
Someone had brought these glow-stick hockey puck thingies, and Bad People up front were kicking them around like soccer balls. We had no choice but to kick them back. It was immature and indecorous, but it could not be helped.
By the time the Aquamen were done with their fabulous set, we were ready to go dancing some more. So we went to a meat-market club down the street and danced for a while there. Everybody ditched me around 4AM, probably because as a drunk 6'2" gray-haired guy in a beret and purple turtleneck doing the Funky Chicken, I looked like a complete dork and they were embarrassed to be associated with me. So, I walked home through the Tenderloin _alone_.
So, anyways, we had a good time. There were down sides, too, of course. First, we didn't get in a fight with the Suck people. We got there and realized that we couldn't actually identify them -- we were looking for people who looked like those little cartoons they have on their site, like, hopping up and down with little black clouds over their heads. Needless to say there weren't any people that actually looked like that. Of course, this doesn't mean that we won't brag about beating them up, anyways.
WE BEAT UP SUCK!! WOOOOO-HA! PIGDOG PIGDOG PIGDOG! GAR!
Now that I think about it, nobody else was really enthusiastic about this bar-brawl idea except for me. I think I might have to just pretend I never mentioned it. Anyways, check out the Aquamen, read lots of web zines, and stay away from Wa-ha-ka!.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
From the mixed up files of citizen 566-77-0776 (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)