Build Date: Thu Apr 30 16:10:07 2026 UTC
Argg!!!!! I just spilled beer all over my mail server!
-- Ratsnatcher
133% of Americans Think Polls Make Their Opinion Worth Something
2000-01-31 17:18:57
I got a statistic for you-- imagine an average American. Got it? OK, now imagine that 50% of the US is dumber than that. Now give 75% of Americans access to computers. Finally set up a "news" site entirely devoted to reporting on the outcome of polls and combine that with the recent finding that show the more incompetent you are the less likely you are to know it... Volia-- Yahoo! Public Opinion.
Ah yes, public polling! How in the world did I manage to get through my day without knowing that "40.4% [of adults nationwide] agreed that indoor plumbing has been the single greatest addition to the 20th century home." Or that "Bugs Bunny & Friends Show was chosen Best of the Century by 26.3% of respondents."
Eh, but it all sounds so harmless, a kinda small-scale online mob-mentality that can reassure America's dumb-asses that they are in the in-crowd, at least when it comes to plumbing and cartoons. But what about real issues? Does the fact that 61.6% of 968 adults (who had nothing better to do than answer a phone survey) think Elian Gonzalez should be returned to Cuba mean anything?
Why do 968 random people's opinions matter more than one random person's opinion? What if you went to the hospital for major surgery and instead of 1 trained doctor you had 1324 adults from a nation-wide sampling vote on how to proceed?
Now I'm not saying I'm some kinda anti-democracy freak-o or anything-- I believe people should be able to vote on things that will affect their own lives. For example dumb-asses should be able to be ruled by dumb-ass laws. Self-righteous pricks have my blessing to elect self-righteous prick officials.
But that's exactly what's wrong with all the big hype and attention that's given to public polls. They shouldn't be part of a NEWS site, they should be on the back page with the horoscopes and comics... but that's just my opinion.

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)
For all you Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAG) out there who complain about not getting laid, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Women only like to have sex with jerks. (More...)
Juggler Vain attempts to wrestle with the issues around the KPFA shutdown; Big-time wrestling ensues. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)