Build Date: Fri Jul 11 10:50:29 2025 UTC

I know it's terribly outre to imply that the constitution and its amendments might actually mean what they say. I apologize. I'm just a simple man.
-- P A U L

Waking the Dead

by Negative Nancy

1999-02-01 03:32:00

I love it when the media makes some big deal over "new scientific proof!" of something really obvious like "Poor People Receive Inferior Health Care, Study Says" or "Taking 5,000 Vitamins at Once is Bad, Says Noted Expert." Well, here's another one: alarm clocks are hazardous to your health.

This week there's finally proof that alarm clocks are dangerous, and in some cases, deadly. Scientists have document a case where a 22-year-old man went into cardiac arrect after his alarm went off. I know that my alarm going off at 8:00 AM has almost done me in on a number of occasions, and I'm surprised there aren't warning labels on the damn things. Really, there-outta-be-a-law! Your child could be next! It's moving from the city to quiet neighborhoods JUST LIKE YOURS!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

eatme@pigdog.org

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