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I would disarm the entire world, because it would be cool to see people have massive battles using only their teeth and nails. Those of us who floss regularly would soon rule the earth!
-- Mr. Bad
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Man, it's a well-known fact that booming techno-techno is
the official music of Bad People of the Future and shit. Like,
when diamond-crystal symbiots land on PLANET Q13 in the Booga Galaxy
and shit, it's obvious that they will be playing some dope-ass
goa on their 12-dimensional CD player and stuff. But, at the
same time, these cyberbillies are giving techno a run for its
money, what with all their "old-timey" music. Beaujolais for that!
Old Time music is kind of a term of art for crazy hillbilly musicians. It means
music that used to happen before there was recording tubes and gramophones and
that kind of shit. It's the hillbilly music that your great-grand-pappy
hillbilly would have listened to while making big aniline whiskey-drink in an
old tub.
The thing about old time music is that it's really FUN. It's got this kind of
droning crazy beat made by gigantic abominations of washtub bass and weird jugs
and that kind of thing, with wicked weird fiddle and banjo and mandolin kinda
whining and flying and zooming and doing crazy wheedly-wheedly noises like
there's no tomorrow. It's about as high-energy as any old thing. It's like a
natural Appalachian audial ritalin. Hell, now that I think about it, old-timey
is pretty much analog-style proto-techno.
This site I'm pointing you to, Old Time Music dot Com, has lots of cool links
and stories and what not. My favorite is the Old Time Appalachian Throwdown, an
MP3 stream full of old-timey music and such. But there's also lists of old-timey
festivals and events and etc. As well as weirdo pitchers of nutty crazy
hillbillies with no teeth playing violins made out of salt barrels and such,
spitting terbacky and rocking the house with old-time. Coolio!
Some of the PDJ krew went out to an old-timey show in San Francisco last week at
a crazy little Irish bar, and it was great! They had an old timey band set up in
the corner of the bar, and it was about 8 guys all crammed together with no
chairs or mics or anything, just kinda BANGING AWAY with spoons and fiddles and
who knows what. And they all had big beards like the Martin Brothers in
"Hillbilly Hare." I'm hooked, I'm telling you.
So go check out Old Time Music dot Com, pick up a pair of spoons and bang along
ot the tunes. Beaujolais for old-timey!
Check it out yourself
ixian@pigdog.org
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