In my never-ending search for bizarre anecdotes and very strange statistics, I've
uncovered some astounding facts about "That Time of the Month" that you may not know
about.
Did you know:
32 states have laws on the books that say a woman isn't responsible
for maiming, murdering or hitting a man on the head with a frying pan
when her "Aunt Flo" is visiting.
Ladies with "leaky basements" can't do math problems. It's true -- to
a woman 1 + 1 = 5 when she's "on the rag"!
Some large companies (including Charles Schwab, Ben & Jerry's, and the
United States Postal Service) allow woman to take a leave of absence
"that week" because most of them just sit at their desks crying the
whole time anyway.
77% of divorces in this country are caused by "menstruating" women who
think their husbands "breathe wrong."
92% of the chocolate consumed in the United States each year is eaten
by women who are dealing with "the curse." Also, 86% of potato chips,
67% of our fat-free ice cream products and a whopping 98.5% of America's
Cheez-Wiz are eaten by our "bloody ladies."
It's best if girls who have "female troubles" don't participate in gym
class or team sports. They're legs are weak and they tend to fall over
on courts and playing fields, causing injury to other players who trip
over them.
A woman who has "a snatch box decorated with red roses" should not
prepare food to serve to others. Her blood is "tainted" and can "infect"
the meal.
In 1982, an Oklahoma woman by the name of Elaine Skinner ate 286 oz.
of raw pork products. She attributed this amazing feat to "riding the
cotton pony."
