Build Date: Mon Oct 13 23:40:08 2025 UTC
I'm gonna use this Model M until it drives all my coworkers INSANE.
-- Mr. Bad
Crazy Epidemic in Great Britain
1999-06-09 14:20:44
British police officers may soon begin receiving specialized psychiatric training in order to deal with an increasing wave of mentally disturbed people in that country, 6,000 of whom have visited Britain's Royal palaces or written to the Royal Family in the last year alone.
As if the huge horde of crazy people wasn't enough to keep the Bobbies busy, British police have also had to deal with all sorts of other Royal intruders, such as the group of lesbian anti-nuclear protesters who scaled the walls of Buckingham Palace with ladders, and the American paraglider who landed on the roof of the palace.
But officials are most concerned about the crazy people, many of them naked, who wander onto the grounds at Buckingham Palace and assert their right to either be naked or to have naked tea with the Queen.
According to Colin Smith of the Inspectorate of Constabulary, one of the most common problems going on in England right now is crazy people who wander into the palace and announce that they are the King or Queen, or sometimes both. Smith is among many in Britain who are urging the new training procedures to cut down on the threat of crazy people.
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