Build Date: Wed Aug 13 13:41:13 2025 UTC
Never trust a man in a blue trenchcoat; never drive a car when you're dead.
-- Tom Waits
Your Jet Pack Is Recalled
2003-01-21 00:51:47
Remember back when Trek Aerospace was going to auction off the SoloTrek XFV on eBay? Well, bidding got up to almost $7 million by the second day. Then, on the third day, the seller ended the bidding early because of an error in the listing.
It turns out that,
"...significant information relevant to this item was omitted from the original listing. This item is nonoperational and as such is not warranted or represented to be capable of performing flight or other operations."
Omitting the fact that the contraption doesn't even work is more than just a simple listing error. The original listing states,
"As a condition of sale, the successful bidder will have to execute an agreement warranting that they will use the aircraft for static exhibition and educational purposes only."
A second listing was posted after the error was corrected. The second listing adds this bold, simple phrase,
"The aircraft will be sold in its as-is, nonoperable condition."
Apparently, "nonoperable condition" is clearer than "static exhibition."
So I think this was just a grand marketing test by Trek Aerospace to see how much some idiot would actually pay for the XFV Prototype. Seven million dollars. That's how much. Just about probably enough to keep them from having to go out of business. Since the Segway Human Transporter has been banned from the sidewalks of San Francisco, the personal-motorized-vehicle market is wide open. Watch, Sharper Image stores everywhere will have the second generation vehicle in stock for $8.5 mil. by Christmas. Meanwhile, not a single bid was placed during the second eBay auction for the "nonoperable" XFV. Trek Aerospace not only learned the value of their product, they also learned that no one wants their junk.
Sorry Trek Aerospace. Call me when you invent an operable amphibicopter.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Last week I had eye surgery and it was certainly one of the least enjoyable episodes of my life. Eye Surgeons like their patients to be conscious enough so that they can move their eyes to the proper position during surgery. (More...)
Alright kids, this is the column where you write in with the lurid details of your personal lives, and I put them on the Internet for everyone to snicker at. But also, I give you a free Tarot reading, so there's that. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)