Build Date: Tue Mar 5 14:10:06 2024 UTC

Next dead man float I'm gonna have is gonna have a piece of Mr. Bad floating in it.
-- Johnny Royale

Here Is Your Jet Pack

by Miss Conduct

2003-01-09 13:53:56

It may be a few years late, but your jet pack has finally arrived. The SoloTrek XFV (Exoskeleton Flying Vehicle) strap-on aircraft goes up for auction on eBay tomorrow. Bidding begins at $50,000 but the final sale is expected to exceed $1 million, according to Michael Moshier, chief executive of defense contractor Trek Aerospace. Just ignore that part about how the company is going out of business due to lack of money, a missed milestone and a test-flight accident, and let the bidding begin! There is only one.

The Proof-of-Concept Prototype accomplished its maiden flight in December 2001. The new second generation SoloTrek XFV First-Article aircraft has been built since then, completing its first flight on December 16, 2002. It can hover quietly over 2 hours at speeds up to 69 mph for over 100 miles carrying a person weighing up to 180 lbs. Simply step in, strap on and take off. The compact aircraft operates with readily available fuel, launches and lands vertically, and can land literally anywhere on a site the size of a dining room table. Never mind the promising applications in the military, paramilitary and civilian markets. Imagine what YOU could do with such a transportation device.

Leap tall buildings in a single bound. Drop in on your friends when they least expect it. Freak out plane passengers during airplane takeoff. Shorten your commute by hours. Hover around your boss's office window. Swoop down and steal peoples' hats. Become a high-rise Peeping Tom. Hmmmm, I wonder if you can have sex on it?

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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