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Metallica Sues Napster. Will Radio be their Next Target?
2000-05-04 00:21:38

Mocking Parade
I wish I had a chicken here right now so I could pull the head off as an object lesson to his evil little chicken friends. Fuckers.
-- Lenny the Nice


Today on the radio I heard Lars Ulrich, Metallica's drummer, state that people who used Napster just wanted free music, and that music should only be available to those who pay for it. It was then that I realized that not only did Metallica not understand the Internet, but THEY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF RADIO STATIONS!

Radio, a technology unknown and mysterious to band members and the RIAA, is a new-fangled invention that allows people to listen to music for free. What's more, crack journalists at the Pigdog Journal have uncovered the fact that with the addition of a device known as a "cassette tape recorder," ANYONE can RECORD the free music they hear on their radios and listen to it again and again, FOR FREE!

We don't have exact figures yet, but my guess is that if Napster is costing RIAA performers $100 million a year, their losses due to radio stations playing music must run into TRILLIONS of dollars. If it wasn't for radio stations ripping off artists like Metallica, Lars would not only be richer than Bill Gates, he'd be richer than Larry Ellison!

Lars went on to babble that "If they [fans] want to steal Metallica’s music, instead of hiding behind their computers in their bedrooms and dorm rooms, then just go down to Tower Records and grab them [CD's] off the shelves."

No way Lars! I could get arrested if I did that. The next time I want to "steal" your intellectual property, I'm going to listen to my radio!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.


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