Build Date: Wed May 21 21:10:13 2025 UTC
I am completely drunk ... Surprise, Surprise, Surprise...
-- Johnnie Royale
Strange Brew
2003-05-21 21:27:28
Canadians test sick cow's head after aging it for three (3) months. Surprise! It's your favorite, and certainly mine, BSE. I guess good things come to those who wait. Things had been slow on my beat anyway.
My contacts north of the ice curtain gave me this info about the dates, and sure enough when I look at the Globe & Mail report, that durn cow's head was kept in a lab freezer from Feb 8 until May.
No big deal, right? The cow was quarantined & deemed "unfit for consumption" so McDonald's Canada doesn't need to look south for its meat supply, right? Right!
I thought I was the last Downer Cow to make it to the US of Eh, but I've got this funny feeling in my stomach that says it just ain't so. Beauty.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
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The IBM Selectric Typewriter Changed My Life
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On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
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It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
