Build Date: Thu Apr 30 17:10:06 2026 UTC
Maybe you could drip a little more sarcasm. You would be like the queen in ALIENS, with so much dripping.
-- Ratsnatcher
2 Year Sentence For Columbine Threat Vs. 4 Months For Murder
1999-10-22 14:22:28
17 year old Columbine student was arrested for making threats near the 6 month anniversary of the big shooting. He's now facing 2 years in jail. Meanwhile, this other guy gets FOUR MONTHS for KILLING his wife. Not THREATENING to kill his wife-- shooting her and then leaving the house and then COMING back to finish her off when he realized he had more bullets. He finally managed to kill her while she was on the phone with a 911 operator.
The Columbine kid was arrested, NOT after a half naked man covered in blood ran to police to report a brutal murder, but after RUMORS were reported to the school faculty. The boy reportedly said that he was going to "finish the job started by Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold." Oh and there was a note in his room that said something about how much life sucks. The boy had no idea what he was talking about. No weapons were found at or near his house.
Jefferson County's chief deputy district attorney was trying his dammest to get the boy charged as an adult, but it looks like the kid's headed to juvie. Chances are they'll keep him their until the trials over (6 mons to 1 year is the usual wait I hear) for "observation," since he's been talkin' all suicidal (unlike most 17 year old boys that have just been arrested for the first time).
Can you imagine is that dead women had gone to the police saying her husband had threatened to kill her and would they please lock him up for two years? They would laugh her beaten ass all the way to her grave.
One of the jurors in the murder case was quoted as saying "We feel for the family, but Jimmy needs help. The prison system just won't give him help." Aint gonna be anybody that thoughtful when they put away that 17 year old. And if he didn't have a chip on his shoulder and serious violent tendencies now, he's sure as hell gonna have them when he gets out.
I hope he's not a pretty boy.

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)