Build Date: Fri Apr 18 20:00:19 2025 UTC
If I ever need to get rescued by a group of toddlers and a man with a yellow purse whose only extraction plan is to quickly eat Tootsie Rolls, just let me explode with the god damn plane.
-- Sean Baby
Pigdog Welcomes Mark Barton to Club Charles Whitman
1999-07-30 11:22:22
Just two days shy of the University of Texas Tower massacre anniversary, Atlanta Georgia's Mark Barton submitted his application for the most elite club in the world.
Yes folks, Mark has joined up with the likes of David Berkowitz, Those Crazy Colorado Kids (I still am on the outlook for a 'I went to Columbine and had a blast' T-shirt), and a handful of others that need not be mentioned.
Mark Barton decided that life sucked. But rather than just crawling into some hole and turning into dirt, Mark decided to make it a group tour into the afterlife, taking his second wife, two kids and nine people with him. At the time of this writing, his motivations are unknown. After all, he was your average chemist turned day trader. Normal people just don't do things like this.
But then again, Charles Whitman was an ex-marine, an Eagle Scout, and all around good guy.
It makes you wonder who'll be next to snap like a cheap rubber band.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
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Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Yet another delicious SPOCKTAIL from the SMRL Beverage Science Labs! Check under the cap for your chance to win thousands of fabulous prizes! (More...)
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
Owner of 6 Medical Marijuana Dispensaries Arrested
Reefer madness or a government fabrication? (More...)