Build Date: Sat Mar 14 20:10:11 2026 UTC
Too bad they don't have an anti-psychosis keyboard. I figure, once my wrists start talking to me, it's time to retire.
-- Mr. Bad
Bad Men in Orange Jumpsuits
1999-07-06 21:15:01
So, we saw these eTOY guys at a freako SRL show last year. Yeah, the one under the freeway. And I am here to say that they are MAJOR NUTCASES!
They all had BALD HEADS and orange jumpsuits that said "ETOY" on the back. Despite their general mental patient outfits, they were loved by women everywhere! "EEE TTEEEE OOOOHHH WHYYYY" cheered the beautiful women who were waiting for the giant SRL robots. Perhaps someday beautiful women will shout like that for Pigdog Journal -- could be we need to act EVEN MORE like big criminally insane freakos.
Anyways, right after that I checked out their website. It is COMPLETELY NON- LINEAR and EURO-TRASHY. I couldn't believe it! It's the Web site Dieter from Schprockets would make!
So it freaked me out that they are now the darlings of Wall Street! Everyone is talking about their fantastic IPO, where all those creeps in orange made kajillions of dollars! For their stupid Eurotrash website! What kind of justice is there in that!?!
Anyways, since etoy.com is, like, the darling of Wall Street now, you should probably go check them out. Or maybe you already have. Me, I wouldn't pay for this stock, but it could be just cause I'm jealous. I dunno.

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Canadia Revealed: A Brief Guide to a Large Country
Recently Pigdog has received many letters from readers who are apparently puzzled and upset by our regular coverage of the mysterious nation north of our border, Canadia. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)