Build Date: Wed Jan 22 01:40:12 2025 UTC
i want a machine gun. i want whoever is doing this to me to stand in front of it and suck it.
-- rotten elf
Hacker Chic
2000-02-23 12:20:10
Man, it's all about the CRAZY HACKER CLOTHES! Wear lots of them, and then hack things real hard! Hack hack hack!
I gots to say, I dig this Jinx Hack Wear. I think I might be turning into a HACKER GROUPIE or something, because I'm crazy for hackers nowadays! I read Hacker News Network and Packet Storm and all that shit! Go, speed hacker, go!
I think what I dig about HACKER hackers is that they're not WHINEY, like Jargon File-style hackers are. Jesus, man, all you have to do is read some of the POOR POOR ME stories by Jon Katz of Slashdot.org to get PHYSICALLY ILL with bad, dumb, wimpy JF-hackers. Everybody picks on geeks, and they are all sad.
Snap out of it, you fuckers! Go break things! Set off bombs! Keep the Man busy! Write EVIL SOFTWARE, not WHINEY POETRY!
Oh, so, anyways, Jinx Hackwear. It's got great stuff to wear when you are breaking into the COMPUTER CORE from a SUBWAY STATION and Penn Jillette is trying to stop you! You can be all cool in a "GOT ROOT?" T-shirt or a "CARPE NOCTUM" jockstrap or something. OK, I'm not sure if they have jockstraps or not, but it'd be cool if they did!
Go try on some HACKER CHIC! It's the next big thing! Really!
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
Pao Tzu: Obtaining San Pedro Cactus
Horticultural clone master, Pao Tzu, guides you through the ins and outs of stealing hallucinogenic cacti from your neighbors' yards. Ooh la la! (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)