Build Date: Mon Sep 9 08:30:09 2024 UTC
Berkeley is a place where you can be branded a "fascist" for supporting the "wrong" kind of rent control.
-- X
Come on, people. It's SQRAT Pox! Get it right.
2003-06-12 08:58:45
Dear god, people! Can't you see the plain facts? It's SQRATpox I'm telling you! And yes it IS a conspiracy.
Just look at the facts: In the US, "monkeypox" is found in pet rats & prairie dogs. According to the CDC, "The virus that causes monkeypox was recovered from an African ***!!!squirrel!!!***, which may be the natural host." (Added a little emphasis there.) Lab tests indicate that it could also infect rabbits and mice.
This "monkeypox" misnomer is leading us right to where the sqrat menace wants us, lulling us with a label that says "Only them funny monkeys got that pox. My cute widdle Fluffy Bunkins would never give me that pox. Oh, no he wouldn't! No he wouldn't!"
Write to your congressman, the CDC & the WHO. Demand that they act on the bioterrorist threat of SQRATpox before it's too late. Before we're all dripping pus from our eroding flesh and the sqrat operatives make their move to destroy our precious freedom.
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
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'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
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In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
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All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)
