Wish I'd Been There To See It
2000-09-14 12:59:58
Disregarding the law is all well and good, but you know, sometimes common sense should tell you to just read the signs, you know?
![]() |
![]() |
"I fought the law and ... the law won." |
On his way home from a greuling session with his dentist Wednesday, Pigdog Photocartoonographer The Compulsive Splicer came across evidence of an event that made him wonder why shit like this doesn't happen more often.
Where Sloat and Junipero Serra meet in San Francisco, the driver of a late model BMW apparantly thought the stop lines painted on the street were there to make the streets pretty.
![]() |
![]() |
Signs, signs, |
At the same time, the conductor of an outbound M Ocean View MUNI train apparantly decided to offer a friendly lesson in traffic safety.
Pigdog Journal was unable to determine exactly when the collision ocurred, but this reporter isn't sure that he cares. Oddly, he finds the Rod Stewart song "Every Picture Tells A Story" running through his head. Normally this might prove to be quite an annoyance, but with this photographic evidence, who can argue?
![]() |
![]() |
The scene, from the other side. |
The vehicle was found ungarnished by blood or gore, indicating that any injuries sustained may have been minor. Splicer's humanitarian side is relieved for the sake of the well-being of the driver and any passengers that may have occupied the vehicle. Splicer is glad also because he thinks he must have swallowed some fluoride rinse while at the dentist's, and was feeling rather nauseous to begin with. Evidence of loss of bodily integrity at the scene probably would have made him lose his cookies.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)