Build Date: Fri Jun 20 23:20:33 2025 UTC
My husband has never battered me, but then again, I've never given him a reason to.
-- Montana Gov. Judy Martz, Jan. 16, 2001
They Can Have My Chicken Strip When They Pry It From My Cold, Dead Fingers
2001-02-12 22:48:54
Teachers don't want kids in school with guns? OK. Teachers don't want violent kids in schools? OK. Teachers don't want kids who play with their food in a threatening way in school... what? I've heard of logical slippery slopes before, but this is NUTS.
In Arkansas an eight-year-old first-grade boy was suspended from school for playing with his food in a threatening manner.
Specifically, he pointed a chicken finger, aka a "chicken strip," at a teacher and uttered the menacing words "Pow, pow, pow."
Dan Sullivan, the school principal, was quoted saying "People saw real threats to the safety and security of their students."
Apparently the school has zero-tolerance policy against weapons, and pointing a chicken strip at a teacher violates that policy.
Although I was as surprised as anyone to learn that they actually DO HAVE SCHOOLS in Arkansas, apparently you are not actually required to graduate from one in order to become a teacher or a principal there.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
We here at Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL - world leaders in beverage research and leisure technology) have been noting some complaints about a few of the last Spocktails recipes we’ve released to the general public. Some complaints received to barfback and pigdog-l have centered around the opinion that no one in their right minds would make the drink in question much less consume it. (More...)
Suru and I were at the local supermarket recently when we found ourselves in the booze isle, surrounded by rum. Banana rum, coconut rum, vanilla rum, unfiltered run, Jamaican rum, rum, rum, and more rum. We bought one of each and started experimenting... (More...)
Hooray! At long last, a NEW Spocktail of the Week! Kid-tested, mother-approved! (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)