Pure and simple as a hammer to the forebrain

     
 

What's For Lunch At Cafe Columbine?
2000-11-17 15:29:08


Anarchy
 
If I see a van full of clowns driving down the Five that morning, I'm running them off the road.
-- Flesh

 

It was only a matter of time. The infamous Columbine High School cafeteria closed-circuit videotape has found it's way onto the Internet, despite the objections and pleas of the families of the victims, to feed your unquenchable morbid curiosity.

But let's not dwell on the ethical issues. It's online, and nothing can change that. Instead, as you watch the videotape, think about some of these overlooked points as the controversial footage plays on your monitor:

1. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold should have built test bombs, before deploying the ones they had all over the school.

2. Harris and Klebold were terrible shots. They certainly would have benefited from taking basic marksman courses offered by their local NRA chapter.

3. No one was killed because they dared to say "Yes" the question "Do you believe in Jesus?" but I am a firm believer that the two families on the fundamentalist Christian lecture circuit should be shot for claiming that their kids were killed for that reason.

4. The videotape really isn't all that exciting.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

mustard@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Absinthia: The Pigdog Interview
by El Snatcher, Mr. Bad

Interviewing the SETIguy
by Siduri

Escape to Spock Mountain!
by Baron Earl

Solex vs. the Pigdog
by The Compulsive Splicer

03-19

El Destino

New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk

01-26

Flesh

Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

03-31

Baron Earl

Creating a wall-hangable computer from an Ikea shadow box frame

03-26

Eugene Leitl

Spock + octopus

03-26

Baron Earl

Justice Department sends borrower to jail, declines to prosecute Countrywide CEO

03-26

Baron Earl

BBC News covers SXSW Dorkbot

03-24

Baron Earl

How to Identify a Chupacabra

03-21

JRoyale

My Fucking Job is Unbelievable

03-20

Baron Earl

Absinthe documentary

03-20

Baron Earl

UFO over Oswego

03-20

Baron Earl

Stone-washed cyclocomputer

More Quickies...