Naked Man Strapped to SUV
2000-03-03 12:05:02

Some of us taste liquid death and like it.
-- Liquor Pig


A 350-pound man is tied, naked and spread-eagled, to the roof of a Ford Explorer.

It's just another commute in North Carolina.

The public nudity was intended to protest the price of gasoline. The protesters' destination was the state capitol, but "the driver got lost," the Raleigh News & Observer reported. Mothers driving children to school phoned 911, and the naked man "sent police scrambling to restore order."

The driver was charged by police with "aiding and abetting indecent exposure." And the big guy strapped to the car? John "Big Flash" Hartnett was charged with indecent exposure, disorderly conduct and "violating a city ordinance against riding on a car roof," Police Captain D.S. Overman told the Raleigh News & Observer. "Everybody's upset about higher gas prices," he observed, "but there's a better way to handle it."

But shed no tears; life goes on for these brave North Carolineans. Facing criminals charges, the radio station staffers organizing the event moved on, promoting an enchanting evening at their "Second Chance Prom" with Rick Springfield. Tickets are $40 per person plus a service charge.

This story sends many messages -- about public nudity, North Carolina, and the people who drive SUVs. And, come to think of it, about stupid radio stations. But one hundred years from now, people will shake their heads in wonder at a time when fat men couldn't ride through the streets of their own town, strapped naked to the roof of an SUV, without facing criminal charges. I think this should be an issue in the next Presidential campaign.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

comments powered by Disqus


C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny

Escape to Spock Mountain!
by Baron Earl

Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
by Thom 'Starky' Stark, Lenny Tuberose, 'Tricky' Rick Moen, Destino

Please Continue...
by Baron Earl


El Destino

Zeitgeist's Legendary 'Tamale Lady' Dies Just Weeks Before Opening Her Long-Awaited Restaurant


Baron Earl

Cliff Burton Day in Castro Valley


El Destino

When Spock met PLATO


El Destino

A musical reminder: Don't Say GIF


El Destino

Devo's one and only Christmas song


El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy


El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"


El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?


El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth


Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

More Quickies...