Build Date: Sat Apr 26 04:20:23 2025 UTC
Did you know I did a google search the other day for 'alcoholic programmers' and nothing came back??? Who are they trying to kid?
-- Mr. Bad
Ay-leens Infiltrate Livermore Labs!!!
1999-06-12 11:31:25
Un-fucking-believable. Not only has the U.S. Gov't allowed those sneaky Chinese to make off with all of our national secrets - but now they are installing an Ay-leen starship in the heart of one of our most high tech and sooper-secret weapons labs.
Look at this thing... see the evil spaceship; see the puny humans in front of it. This thing is a monster and it is full of evil. Laser targeting chamber my ass. That is an Ay-leen spaceship and it is being hookup up to a huge massive jillion watt energy source right here in the Bay Area... Right under our noses. The gall they have.
And what really chaps my hide is that the U.S. Gov't is spending at least 1.2 Billion (that's right BILLION... $1,200,000,000.00 dollars) to help these Ay-leens with their wretched plans. We don't know what their plans are, but we're pretty sure that they aren't gonna be good for Joe and Jane Doe of the good Old U.S. of A. Rest assured dear readers that every resource the Pigdog Journal has will be focused on this story. Whether it is enough to prevent the human race from being "Assimilated" by those damn clever Ay-leens is doubtful... so we need your help. If you find any information about these Ay-leen and their nefarious plans write to us.
If you want to read the lame-ass cover story for this debacle you can...
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
For all you Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAG) out there who complain about not getting laid, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Women only like to have sex with jerks. (More...)
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)