Build Date: Tue Jun 2 02:00:13 2026 UTC
It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet.
-- G.W. Bush, Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000
Boil Them in Oil
2002-05-29 02:19:59
Yesterday, Dynergy, a large energy company that is in many ways very similar to Enron, announced that it had inflated its revenue streams some 4.5 BILLION dollars through various trading shenanigans - mostly reverse trades.
Reserve trades occur when one company buys goods from another and then immediately trades them back. The two trades cancel each other out and no money or goods actually changes hands. Both companies' assets are exactly as they were prior to the first transaction, but each company gets to book the trade - so it appears that both companies have a MUCH higher trading volume then actually exists.
This is a completely disingenuous act and the intent is nothing less then to mislead and defraud the investors. And there is no doubt in my mind that the executives of the corporations that commit these acts should be hauled off to jail. But they aren't. They never are. The CEO of Dynergy resigned - probably with several hundred million dollars worth of ill-gotten booty in his bank account. And while the SEC might investigate, if history is any guide, it won't even bother filing charges in this case.
And that just sucks.
Here in California we have a "three strikes are you are out" law. On your third felony conviction you get life. So if you are some poor, deranged street bum with two strikes and you stumble drunk into some Stop and Rob liquor store and quaff a 40 without paying, you can be sentenced for shoplifting and spend the rest of your life in prison for drinking a can of malt liquor.
However, if you are some high flying corporate executive with a fleet of New York attorneys and a bank account filled with cash from all the stock options you managed to sell after jacking up the price with all your swindling trades before anyone else figured out how you cooked the books by some billion or so dollars, you get to buy a nice ranch, staffed with a troop of servants and escorts, and "ride the pine" during the next Republican sponsored round of fraud and get rich quick schemes. But that's ok... because that round will create a whole new batch of crooks with unpunished "crimes" that dwarf yours and make you look damn near innocent.
Quite frankly, I'm just fed up with all this corporate corruption and I want to start boiling some of these bastards in oil.
T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Yet another delicious SPOCKTAIL from the SMRL Beverage Science Labs! Check under the cap for your chance to win thousands of fabulous prizes! (More...)
On a hot spring night after dinner and before the night's serious drinking begins, a Romulan Highball really hits the spot. (More...)
